Me (23M) and my GF (23F) have had a rocky relationship and have been dating for about a year and a half. This being admittedly by both of us ‘the best times of both our lives’. I love her very much and geniunely believe she is the love of my life, and I think she really does love me.
However, due to mistakes that I’ve primarily made months back and early on in our relationship, she’s developed insecurities and has what feels like a lot of built up resentment. Any little mistake and the old issues flood back into play, and it turns into a big hurtful argument.
We’ve both agreed any mistakes I’ve made in the past aren’t worth breaking up over and I don’t want to get into too many specifics (but there’s no cheating involved or what **I** would consider relationship ending taboos). She believes that I always value my time and hobbies more than her for example, which I really don’t, but clearly am bad at communicating. For example, last week, her co-worker and her had an argument at work and she texted me about it. At the time I was getting ready to go out with a friend and told her that I would try to be back quickly, soon after shes home from work, so that I can let her vent to me. She agreed at the time, but I later found her mad for not being there for her and the cycle continues.
I need some advice as to how I can help both of us move past this situation, without breaking up, which seems to be the inevitable end of this situation if it goes unfixed.
Tl;DR: how to stop built up resentment from the past creating arguments in our relationship?
1 comment
Bottom line is this, she has to acknowledge that she is hurting the relationship by saying she’s OK with something when she really isn’t and then to be mad at you for taking her at her word.
You making mistakes in the past does not justify her behavior now, to me it just further highlights that this relationship just isn’t built to last.
I also just want to give you some perspective….i really hope you realize that a relationship of only a year and a half being rocky is really not good and however much you love each other does not make up for all the other incompatibility you seem to have.