I can imagine that there are things that you wouldn’t be into no matter who you’re with, like if you have tried and know for a fact that you don’t like anal then it doesn’t matter who you’re with and you know you’re not going to like it.
But let’s say that you don’t consider yourself dominant or submissive, or soft or rough, but you feel like being one of those things with someone because of how that person behaves. And when I say “behaves,” it could be during sex or not during sex.
Let’s say you’re with someone who interrupts you a lot when you’re talking. Maybe this makes you want to use a gag (with consent) on this person.
Maybe you’re with someone who is kind of meek. Maybe this would make you want this person to take control of you.
Maybe you’re with someone who has a very take-charge personality. This might lead you to want to be more in control OR it could lead to you wanting this person to be more in control of you.
I’ve been asked before “what I’m into,” and I realized recently that when I’m alone, I have sexual acts that I look up, think about, and talk about doing with everyone I’ve been with, but at the same time there are things that I want to do with some that I don’t want to do with others. I’ve been called a switch, but I don’t feel like that fits because frankly the dom/sub dynamic doesn’t even feel like it’s the full picture for how I typically want sex to begin with. I think I see someone, get to know her, and progressively want different things with her as I learn more about who she is. There are some things I immediately do or don’t want to do with her, and there are different things that I immediately do or don’t want to do with a different person.
If I had to put together a document going over what I’m into and not into with everyone, it would be very short. But if someone asked me what I’m into or not into with a specific person, THAT document would be long, and it would be different for different people.
It would be based on personality, but it could also be something about their appearance that makes you want something with that person that you don’t with someone else.
Does anyone else feel this way? Or do you feel like you want what you want no matter who you’re with?