I have a chronical disease who's main symptoms are limited energy and, when i'm tired, limited cognitive abilities. I'm on a disability pension for 6 years now.
My wife knows that i need to carefully plan my days and week, to avoid exhaustion. She has seen multiple times what happens if i exceed my limits. She told me repeatedly that she finds that scary.
I do a lot of the household chores. It's 50/50 when she's home and i do them all on her work days. I don't need her to be my caretaker but yes, she does to some extend needs to keep oversight of important topics.
What bothers me is that i never do enough in her eyes. No matter how much i do in and around the house, there's always that remark "a pity you didn't…".
From a medical point of view i'm at least 2 to 3 times as active as advised and compared to other patients i know. My wife know this too. She also knows that exceeding my limits might lead to a sudden, irreversible decline of my health. This happened 2 times in the past 2 years.
I don't understand why she keeps pushing. I've asked her and she says that she works very hard for her money (24 hours a week) and expects me to do the same here at home. And what i do simply is not enough for her. She also makes derigatory remarks about my disease, my efforts to live an as normal as possible life and the chores i did. I told her it makes me feel sad, inadequate and failing but it just doesn't change anything.
I don't know what to do anymore. What do i miss? If she knows and understand that i risk adding permanent damage, why does she keep pushing ? Why is it never good enough?