I (31F) have been dating my bf (31M) for almost a year. We don’t officially live together as he still has his own apartment but we spend a lot of time together at my house and often times he stays with me for weeks at a time. So much so he moved his desktop into my house.
We have had the discussion of moving in together and I’m just not ready for the full commitment and he has been completely understanding of that. I explained to him I would like to see him take more initiative before we fully commit to living together and he simply said “you just have to tell me what you want done and I’ll do it”. When I responded to him that I shouldn’t have to tell him certain things he should just take the initiative he got upset with me.
For example, I had worked a 14 hour day and prior to leaving for work I started the dishwasher. When I returned home, he had the day off the dishwasher was still full. So I said when you see the dishwasher is done maybe you can take it upon yourself to empty it. And he responded, if you ask me I will do it.
I feel like I should not have to ask him to do basic things like that. When we are in a mutual space I shouldn’t have to delegate every task that needs to be completed. Is this unrealistic expectations?
I get that it’s not technically his home, but a big reason why I am nervous to commit to it being his home is because I feel like everything is going to be put on me because “I didn’t ask”.
Is this just how the male mind works? Help me with some clarity on this situation.