Hi all! I’m a trans man, about to be 30 years old. Due to my gender identity I was never super comfortable with dating growing up. Now I’m a passing trans man and my friends are pushing me to date but I am such a late bloomer that I feel like I don’t know where to start. I’ve tried online dating but don’t really get any likes (I do have it in my profile that I’m trans so that may be contributing to the lack of likes, but it might also be my profile in general?)
In person I tend to be a bit shy and can be introverted until I’ve gotten to know people. I’ve gone on a few dates but they didn’t end up really going anywhere and now it’s been over a year since I’ve gone on one. I don’t drink so I haven’t really felt like going to a bar to try to meet someone. I’m really at a loss here. My friends all say I’m a catch and I do believe I’m a good looking guy with a good personality but I know that I’m getting in my own way being afraid of rejection. I always assume when women are being nice to me or even being flirtatious (my friends will pick up on this, not me) that it’s just in a friendly way and they’re having fun and not actually interested.
I know a large part of this is me working on my confidence and getting out more, but I’d like to know if/how I should approach people I’m potentially interested in. How can I show my interest while ensuring that a woman feels comfortable, and making it clear that she can safely express she is not interested? How might you want a trans man to broach his identity with you if you met in person and not online where that info is disclosed?
For online dating, what usually pulls your attention? Is it a turn off if a guy has too much on his profile? My profile is fairly fleshed out but I feel like maybe that comes off as trying too hard instead of showing that I’m being intentional.
Thanks in advance!