A few months ago, I started seeing this girl, and we had an incredible connection right from the start. It wasn't anything casual; we would hold hands all the time, kiss, and our dates would last for entire days. We spent full weekends together at my place, and the trust between us was absolute. We had a great level of maturity and openness, and I found out she is a leukemia survivor, which made me admire her even more. In her social circle and among her friends, I was already considered "the boyfriend." We were basically right on the verge of making it official.
Everything changed when her mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Her world completely shattered. After finding out, she talked to me and said she didn’t feel ready for anything romantic at the moment given the circumstances. However, after that conversation, we saw each other one more time. We went out, and everything flowed as if nothing had changed—we kissed, held hands the entire time, and the chemistry was completely intact. Her actions totally contradicted what she had told me.
Despite that amazing last date, the reality of her mother's illness eventually absorbed all her time and energy, forcing us to take a step back. When we discussed this, she made it very clear that she didn’t want us to ghost each other. She explicitly asked to stay in touch and promised she would let me know as soon as she was able to go out again.
Right now, we only communicate through WhatsApp. I know she still cares about me because she shows it, but our interactions are few and far between. For example, this morning I sent her a sweet message wishing her a good week. She replied five hours later with a very warm block of texts (sending hugs, hearts, etc.), but she closed the statement without leaving room to keep the conversation going. I know I act as a "safe space" or an oasis in the middle of her chaos, but we don't see each other in person.
To protect my own mental health, avoid the anxiety of being glued to my phone, and respect her process, I made the decision not to reply right away. I’m spacing out my responses to every few days, keeping a great vibe but without putting any pressure on her.
It hurts like hell to accept that, for now, this text-only dynamic is all there is, and it's tough to maintain this strategic distance. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing by having strategic patience, or if I'm just clinging to a promise that her current reality might not let her keep.
What do you guys think? Would you stay and weather the storm for someone who explicitly asked you to stay and promised to return, or is it better to just walk away?
TL;DR:
I was on the verge of making things official with an amazing girl (a leukemia survivor). Her mom got terminally ill, and she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, yet we went out right after and still kissed and held hands like normal. Because of her lack of time, she explicitly asked me not to ghost her, to stay in touch, and promised to let me know when we can see each other again. Now we only exchange warm but very spaced-out texts, and I decided to only reply every few days to give her space. Is she worth the wait?