Here's my original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1tkxf8o/i_30f_am_not_sure_if_i_can_ever_have_sex_with_my/
Now onto the update: I know I said I wouldn't post again, but there has been a significant change to the relationship.
We officially broke up. A few days ago, he cooked dinner for us, which made me feel a little guilt about dragging my feet instead of having the talk with him. So I spoke to him yesterday morning and told him that it wasn't working between us. I explained calmly that there were some things neither of us were compromising on, so due to that, it wasn't going to work. To my surprise, he responded calmly and even agreed with what I said. I think he saw it coming, considering I'd slept in the guest room the past week and a half. I also mentioned how when I asked for a break and stopped fighting for this relationship, he did too. He didn't argue.
I told him that I appreciated him cooking for me the day prior and doing laundry the week before, but by that point it was a little too late because I was too far gone to care. He stated that he thought "effort" was referring to date nights, not cooking. He said that he just cooked because he felt like cooking that day… so turns out he didn't even cook as a way to put effort in, he just did it just because. He explained that away as a "misunderstanding between us". I stated that he didn't even plan a date night either. He didn't dent that.
So yeah. We broke up. But it was honestly the most amicable break up I've ever had, and I'm proud of how we both handled it, even if it was long overdue. I also feel like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm no longer in a relationship with someone who doesn't take care of themselves; and therefore, doesn't take care of our relationship either.
Now I've been perusing different roommate finder websites because I cannot afford to live by myself, but thankfully my ex isn't rushing me out the door, and I have time to figure that out.
That's about it, Reddit. Thank you for your advice, even if some of it was harsh. I appreciate it.