Ok this might be TMI for some of the subreddits I'm cross posting this to but we desperately need advice if anyone on here has a similar experience.
My partner (ftm 18) and I (f18) are both on Zoloft. He is on 100mg and I am on 50mg. We have been together for several months and the sex has been great, except 9 times out of 10 he mostly focuses on my pleasure because he has never been able to climax with another person and nothing seems to work. I have been on Zoloft for about 3.5 years and have definitely noticed a difference in my ability to orgasm, noting that it takes much longer but still works eventually and I can still enjoy myself. However, my boyfriend is on double my dose and says there has only been one thing that has worked for him – the detachable shower head.
I've tried a few different things to try and give him pleasure (scissoring, oral, fingers, letting him grind against my thigh) but he describes it as feeling numb down there and eventually tells me to stop because it isn't working. As a result of this, he initiates way less frequently than I do because he doesn't really get much pleasure from anything we have done together. He knows that I'm trying and that it's not either of our faults, as it's clearly a side effect of the medication. But I feel really bad and want him to enjoy it as much as I do. Not to be crude on here, but I want to be able to make him climax.
He says he's rarely able to get himself there just with his hands, or that it takes a really long time. I've been able to get him "80% of the way there" on a few occasions, but he's never experienced a full orgasm with me. So far, the shower head has been the only thing that works. I'm running out of ideas — I've heard getting high beforehand increases libido and sensitivity, or if any of those "enhancement" gummies really work to counteract the numbness of the Zoloft.
Maybe there are toys out there that would simulate the same type of sensation as the shower head, or different methods that have worked for other people? We're willing to explore our options, we just don't know where to start. He has a cheap bullet vibrator, but it doesn't do much. I bought a grinding attachment for the strap on. And I've asked him what he wants me to do, but he doesn't know what would work. He cannot go off this medication as it has been life saving for him since he started 8 months ago, but I worry about how this affects our relationship and want him to enjoy it.
Side note: he's also on adderall for ADHD and is not on testosterone yet.
Any advice?