I used to treat the dating apps like applying for a job. I would be selective but also would drive conversations and plan dates very early on. I would ignore early incompatibilities.
I’m a woman in my late twenties. I would have a talking stage every week and this is what I learned.
- Don’t take anyone too seriously until it’s been at least a couple dates
- Let men lead. I used to lead and ask them on a date or phone call but now I throw hints. If they don’t pick up, I get less responsive. The reason why women should not initiate it because men get much fewer matches and even if they aren’t into u, they might go in a date with you just because they are flattered.
- If the other person hasn’t mentioned they are looking for something long term in their profile and u r, swipe left.
- Don’t use texting to understand someone’s personality. It can be used for light banter but should mostly be used to make plans for a phone call or hanging out.
- If someone isn’t responding to your messages or after a couple dates stops messaging, they didn’t get busy, they are ghosting. Silence is an answer too. Move on and don’t confront them.
- Don’t give ppl a lot of energy in the beginning and don’t have high expectations. Let things grow with time.
- If you’ve found a unicorn who you vibe with, disregard all the rules above. However sometimes ppl are excellent actors so I don’t trust anything anyone says. Judge by actions, not words.
Dating apps are an excellent way to meet people but they also cause a lot of fatigue and stress. Dating should be fun but unfortunately we need to protect ourselves from the toxic ppl who seem wonderful at first but are awful communicators, love bombers and often liars.
Stay safe everyone