I’m in a really confusing relationship situation right now. We both clearly have feelings for each other, and whenever we talk on calls or video calls, everything feels warm, comfortable, and genuine. But outside of that, the communication becomes very inconsistent. She disappears for hours or even days sometimes, avoids serious conversations about the relationship, and often says she’s too busy or mentally overwhelmed to maintain consistency. She told me herself that she feels like she can only try for a few days before things go back to the same pattern again.
The hardest part is that she doesn’t seem completely disconnected either. She still talks nicely to me, checks in sometimes, and acts caring during conversations, which makes me feel attached again. But at the same time, I keep feeling emotionally confused and insecure because I don’t feel reassured or prioritized consistently. I don’t want a toxic relationship or to control her — I just want healthy communication, emotional security, and to feel like I matter.
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a case of two people loving each other but being incompatible, or if I’m overthinking and expecting too much from someone who communicates differently. Has anyone experienced something similar?