This is mostly a ran tbh
TW: Mental health discussion
The person I’v been dating for ~5m has started being very insecure. Not that she wasn’t before we started dating, but it’s gotten worse. Now, hear me out. It’s ok to be insecure. I’M insecure. It’s just the CONSTANT need for reassurance. Every five seconds she’s talking about how fat she is, or how I don’t love her, or how she should just end it all.
From what I know, she’s been in therapy before and was not compliant at all. Her mental health is… not great. She’s definitely at a point in her life where she needs reassurance that she shouldn’t harm herself in any way, and the people want her here.
However, it is exhausting. I don’t like having to reassure her so much. Her negativity just pissed me off sometimes, and it’s starting to be way too much. I’m tired of her doubting my love, just because I haven’t told her I loved her in like… 3 hours.
Also, there is so much PDA I can’t handle it. I’ve tried to avoid it all together and tell her I don’t want it, but eh just takes it as ‘oh no, I don’t actually love you I hate you and don’t want to spend time with you.’ It is worth noting I’m very affectionate when we’re alone and I’m comfortable, and I’m attempting to be more affectionate in public for her.
Should I break up with her? Am I being unreasonable? Am I being an asshole?
Edit: it’s s fine to be emotional. I’m not mad about expressiveness. It’s just that’s she’s never.. happy? It’s been months of constant negativity. I love being able to help people, and I find myself ending up as a safe place for many of my friends to seek comfort, but it’s just the sheer volume and consistent need for reassurance that I don’t know if I want to provide. As for the PDA, its less of a ‘I don’t want to kiss or hug in public’ an more of a ‘I don’t want to cuddle you on the ground of the park during every single one of my class breaks, I want to to build connection with other friends.’
Edit 2: we are both young and women, hope this clears some stuff up.