23M saw 21F for \~2 months (7 dates). Strong chemistry, lots of texting/memes, escalating closeness, she stayed over and had briefly met my parents. I genuinely thought this might become my first proper relationship.
During our first real intimate night I got nervous and had ED/performance anxiety issues. I also became more emotionally vulnerable than usual and said things like:
\- “I’m glad I met you”
\- “you’re one of the sweetest girls I’ve met”
Basically she saw a more anxious/attached side of me than she had previously.
Sunday morning the vibe felt slightly off, but afterward she still:
\- hugged me warmly
\- thanked me for the weekend
\- kept texting/joking normally for several days
\- discussed future plans
Then later in the week she suddenly went cold and eventually ended things, saying:
\> “you’re a lovely guy but my feelings aren’t fully there.”
What’s confusing me is:
if attraction died that night, why continue acting warm afterward for days?
Trying to work out whether:
1. the ED/anxiety/vulnerability killed attraction
2. the emotional intensity made her realise she didn’t like me as deeply as I liked her
3. or whether the relationship simply became “real” and exposed incompatibility faster
Also worth noting:
this performance anxiety issue predates her. I’ve delayed sex with previous girls because I was subconsciously scared of this exact scenario happening.
Would genuinely appreciate perspectives from people who’ve experienced:
\- performance anxiety
\- emotionally intense early relationships
\- or sudden pullbacks after intimacy.