Before I start, I'm 21F, he is 18M. I'm not sure if this relationship would be ethical due to our ages and the fact that I am a teacher and he is a student at the same school. Please don't be too rude here, read the whole post before saying anything. There is context surrounding things, which is why I'm even giving any thought.
So, I am a teacher at a small Christian private school. I was a student there before I graduated. This guy and I have been friends since I was a student, so a few years now. I have never been his teacher, like for his classes or age group, partly due to a few of the students having been my classmates previously.
Here is the problematic part. He has liked me for a couple years now, and he finished all his schoolwork early before he graduates. He chooses to spend a lot of time helping me with stuff, and 100% flirts with me. Thing is, I kinda like him too. I'm asexual, and almost never like anyone. It isn't even lustful or anything, we just genuinely connect and get along well. I know I can't initiate anything, especially before he graduates, haven't and won't. He graduates in a couple weeks, and I'm not sure if it is too unethical to maybe pursue anything. My mom hopes he asks me out after he graduates, but I'm not sure. I like him a lot, and he makes me feel like a genuine hope and happiness that no one has made me feel before, like I want to be a better person. Ik that sounds corny, I'm usually very apathetic and stuff, but it's just how I feel ig.
Anyway, not sure if anyone will read this, but any advice is welcome. I'm not sure it will ever not seem unethical, but idk
2 comments
Once he graduates I don’t see any problem with it. You’re both legally adults and as you mentioned have known each other for a long time. When he’s no longer a student there won’t be any conflict of interest so you’re free to pursue him unless the school has some strange policy about not dating former students lol.
the power dynamic is still really weird even after graduation tbh. you were in an authority position while he was developing feelings, which makes the whole thing feel off regardless of when it started or if you taught him directly.
also three year age gap when one person is barely 18 hits different than it would in a few years. maybe give it some time and see how you both feel when he’s had a chance to exist in the real world for a bit?