Up until relatively recently, I had 0 experience with dating, relationships and everything that comes with it (age-wise, a very late bloomer in this regard) until deciding to try and step out of my comfort zone.
I began seeing someone for a few months and things were going really well (also I had been very open about this lack of experience), but ultimately she decided to end things, though for some time the level of communication didn’t really drop off from where they had been.
Up to this point, things hadn’t been physical but following that conversation, we did end up meeting a couple more times, with the second progressing to the point of being about to go all the way.
I won’t say I really knew what I was doing up to this point, but she had said that she had enjoyed the previous time, and throughout, I was definitely exclusively focused on her pleasure, so I would like to think things were going pretty well.
However, pretty much within a few seconds of actually doing it…that was all she wrote.
I was pretty apologetic about it (which in hindsight maybe wasn’t the best thing) – although she said it was fine, she did immediately turn to go to sleep which had me thinking she must have been extremely annoyed.
Following that night, communication pretty much slowed to a crawl and haven’t spoken at all in some time.
Since then, I can’t help but feel like I potentially ruined a shot at resparking things – this was something I had been really excited and invested in. I definitely felt as though I had found the kind of person that was right for me in several ways, particularly in not holding the lack of experience in dating against me.
Whilst I know about the whole ”plenty of fishes in the sea” (and I have been trying to put myself out there again), I can’t help but stop thinking about if I can both find someone I am as attracted to again and also won’t hold this kind of thing against me.
I’ve been doing my best to get out of my head about it, but it‘s been real tough…what can I do that might help (and hopefully ever prevent this being an issue again)?