I don’t know how to make friends as an adult

I’ve always gravitated toward individual activities, like reading, solo sports, working on my career, and dating. Socializing in groups never really felt purposeful to me, so I didn’t invest much time in it.

This worked well for a while. I built a good career (I work remotely) and had an active dating life. But lately I’ve started to feel like if I keep going this way, I might end up without any real sense of community.

I think my main problem is that I don’t really know how to make friends. In group settings I often feel like I don’t add much. I don’t naturally jump into conversations, and I struggle to see what value I bring to others in that context.

Also, I’m 28 but I often get told I look much younger (like early 20s), and I sometimes wonder if that makes it harder to connect with people my age.

At the same time, I do want stability, not just casual interactions, but a deeper friendship with someone I can rely on and who genuinely likes me for who I am. Some recent (and honestly scary) health related experiences made me realize how important that kind of support is.

So I guess my question is: Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you go from a more individual, self focused lifestyle to building meaningful friendships or a sense of community?