TL;DR: Had a respectful breakup after a 6-year relationship, went no-contact, and moved on with my life. My ex quickly married someone else, but over the years his wife and family became convinced I was obsessed with them, despite me never contacting them. Now my ex is accusing me of harassment with zero proof because I stayed friends with two mutual friends. Should I have cut those friendships off too, and should I be worried about these accusations?
I ended my longest relationship, 6 years total, back in 2023, and from my perspective it was a respectful and clean breakup. It was mutual, and I genuinely believed we ended things on good terms.
About 3 months later, my ex started dating someone new. Honestly, that wasn’t my business, and I was happy for him cause we both deserved happiness. I went through my grief properly..
I did the hard work to heal. Yes, occasionally I would stalk their profiles, but I think that’s pretty normal after a long relationship. Eventually I asked for no contact and actually respected it completely for months. No stalking for months.
Meanwhile, he moved into a very intense relationship almost immediately. They got married in less than a year I think.
During 2024, a mutual friend told me that my ex’s wife was obsessed with me and believed I was trying to interfere in their relationship. Told him to never talk about that again cause it hurted me. Apparently they thought my friend (mutual) was secretly feeding me information so I could hurt them somehow. The reality is I never contacted either of them. I never insulted her, never looked for him, never tried to get his attention. I was literally just living my life, healing, dating casually, and moving on.
Still, his family became convinced that I was harassing them. My ex mother in law would text me asking me to “please stop bothering them.” Ironically, the person who actually bullied me was my ex’s brother and I strongly suspect his wife encouraged it. He hated me throughout the entire 6 year relationship. I told my ex MIL, that his son was the one harassing me, and I had proof. She agreed, and we ended the discussion.
I never reacted aggressively, but I blocked my ex mil because the accusations became exhausting. I blocked them all, all of his family and friends. Except for two mutual friends that I love.
Then in 2025, something strange happened: my ex’s sister contacted me apologizing on behalf of the whole family and my ex(without him knowing I believe). Apparently his wife ended up fighting with everyone and showed her true colors. Around the same time, I also received an anonymous apology message that I suspect came from either my ex mil or one of their relatives. I didn’t answered.
Now in 2026, things got weird again. (And my tumor grew, but I’m fine now)
My sister received a message from my ex (and I later found an email in my spam folder because he’s blocked everywhere). He accused me of sending photos from my birthday party to his wife. The alleged photos were literally just pictures where two mutual friends happened to appear.
For context: these two friends remained in my life because they are genuinely good friends to me. I cut ties with almost everyone connected to my ex except them. I have never discussed my ex with them beyond these recent incidents. We have a rule, we drink and we don’t talk about Kevin.
According to my ex, me sending those photos was somehow affecting custody issues involving his daughter because his wife allegedly wanted to take the child away from him. He asked my sister to tell me to stop.
My sister asked him for screenshots or proof. He refused and claimed they “couldn’t show evidence because they were going to sue me.” No lawsuit ever came. And honestly, there’s no proof because I didn’t do anything.
What bothers me is not even the accusation itself, it’s the fact that after years of no contact, he reached out to both me and my sister accusing me of harassment over something absurd.
Meanwhile, I actually DO have proof of them mocking me in the past, including editing a shirt with insults directed at me.
My brother in law got rwally angry and told my ex to stop contacting my sister and to leave me alone because he knows me personally and knows I wouldn’t do this kind of thing. My ex simply replied: “I agree.” Not anything else. My BIL wants to beat him if he ever sees him, cause my sis was pregnant at that time, and she got distressed. When she got the message that they wanted to sue me, she got stressed cause I’m the little sis. :/
Another strange thing is that those two mutual friends no longer want to be friends with him. They told me they prefer being around me because “there’s no drama” on my side. And we just have so much fun, my family loves them.
At this point I genuinely don’t understand what motivates these accusations. I could understand if I had actually behaved badly after the breakup, but I didn’t. I moved on responsibly and peacefully. With little stalking.
My ex had never EVER tried to contact me before this. I actually believed he had a very happy relationship and life’s and I was glad.
So now I’m wondering:
What causes someone to develop this kind of retrospective jealousy or obsession toward an ex who never tried to come back into their life?
And should I actually be concerned about these accusations, even if there’s clearly no evidence?
Should I have cut off those mutual friends too?
I believe they’re getting a divorce, and I feel bad but also why if I did nothing and even if I did what they say I did, it’s so dumb.. like why would you get a divorce over a picture of two people on a party. THAT DOESNT EXIST. Or maybe it does exist and the people who sent those pics where my friends who I don’t talk anymore cause I don’t want any trouble.
Why do I feel tiny guilt if I didn’t do anything.