I had someone try to kill me by choking me to death and I had to stab them 2 times to not die. I drove then to the hospital at knife point. The cops came, had 6 court dates, it was ruled self defense by the judge….. with that said, I usually feel anxious. Not exactly scared but I feel like a kid feels before a road trip. A nervous excitement that can very quickly switch to anger. Then it usually leads to me being mean to someone I love which leads to me feeling like a piece of trash. I've never hurt anyone I like because of the panicking that sets in but I feel like a wild animal that is caged. In my body I feel like there is this huge urge to fight something but then I have to control it and push down. I felt invincible, like look what happens when you try me…. then the nightmares came. It took 3 months for the nightmares to kick in, but after they did it controlled me. I have a dream of someone I trust and when I turn around they stab me, I run flee, fall down, then everything turns black. Then I wake up sweating, sometimes I jump from my bed. Since met my lady it has gotten better. However I still do not go into public much and I cant do crowds well. People do think im some bad ass but to me im a prisoner trapped in a life I wasn't suppose to live. I was nice, agreeable, considerate, and loving before…. now I harbor a lot of hate, and resentment. I frequently have panicking attacks. Mine usually lead to me being more aggressive so I just go to be by myself…… I hope this helps. Its a insight into MY PTSD….. much love to anyone else fighting this. My heart goes to you and know you aren't alone