I thought my feelings were safe. She initiated the sex every time, and clung onto me for the whole night, sleeping naked in my arms, asking for future plans.
I have this feeling that if I have been inside someone multiple times and held them naked in my arms while they sleep, that it means something.
But I got ghosted for a week. So I sent a "My needs are not being met" text and now we are communicating again. It's not the first time she's vanished, promised me she likes me and won't vanish again, but vanishes again. Apparently it was "overwhelming" that I was upset after a week of no contact and "its still early" – which confuses me greatly, because as soon as she sees me in person I am the best thing since sliced bread and she is literally all over me.
For the life of me I cannot figure out this situation and I am so anxious and physically tired, and hooked.
I can't pretend that my brain isn't wired to want the sex, to want the intensity she brings in person, and then crave it when she vanishes and repeat the cycle.
But I literally feel sick and am eating badly because of it.