hmm, I really don't know how to start this. 8 Months ago from posting this, funny enough i found out because our car broke down and asked my brother to pick her up from work(my brother was literally my only friend who i dearly loved and trusted wholeheartedly) and they both came into my house my my wife's eyebrow on his forehead. I'm such a calm person that punching him was wasn't even the cards. I quickly told him to leave and started interrogating my wife about what happened in the car. she said only bumped heads then it was a smooch then it was a make out session. my mind at this point was my kids like i have to keep it together so my kids can enjoy having both parents in the same house. i dismissed my emotional side and started thinking on what's best for everyone with priority on my kids. In a way i was ok that it was only kiss for that night and that's all she ever told me that happened even though i was suspicious in the past during family events etc.
With some manipulation i had her confess that they did have sexual encounters in the same year more than once and that made me cry at work of all places where I am most guarded. After i found that out the first thought was have her leave the house, she didn't, she doesn't want too. her family "supports her" but wont take her in. Financially I don't have it in me to be the one to leave and especially with kids involved. My house became unstable, no peace anywhere if anything she got upset that i found out and wanted her to leave, we ignored each other, no contact while living together. Maybe I'm stupid but at this point i still wanted our relationship to work because of the benefits that would come with it financially and most of all the kids since they're so young. Well, even after i found out that one night they still kept seeing each other leading into Christmas and new year, at that point i was the one who suggested staying happy together for the kids while she saved up money to move out. its been up and downs with each other to keep the peace, even till now.
Her reasoning for having an affair with my brother was because, to her i had an affair two years prior before we got back together. Our marriage realizing it now has been an eye for an eye type of situation, If i looked at porn she would talk to local guys and that caused stressed in the marriage where we would have arguments until one day she got physically abusive and actually left a mark on me to where i had proof. I called the cops as a lesson to her to stop being physical with me especially around the kid. i was tired of it. She then decided to leave me, took all her belongings and my son(3 at the time while i was at work). no explanation, just blocked on everything and ghosted. no word on my son for weeks. as a dad that truly broke me not being able to see him. i did seek out a female to vent too and for comfort which lasted 3 months. in my wife's eyes that's when i had an affair. in my eyes we were already over. after 4 months to where she left we decided to give it one more chance and got back together. forward 3 years later and i caught her with my brother. currently we still live together. its ben peaceful but i don't know about long term and if wasting my time.