hi
i don’t really post stuff like this but i honestly don’t know what to do anymore
TL;dr: been with my autistic boyfriend for 2 years, he’s often rude and aggressive (not physical), we have no real relationship anymore, just him gaming all day. i’ve tried talking, nothing changes. my mental health is getting really bad. i want out but he won’t leave, and i can’t afford to move out after losing my job. no family support, feel completely stuck and alone.
we’ve been together for 2 years, we’re both in our 20s. my boyfriend is autistic and at the beginning i really tried to be understanding and accept everything, but at this point i’m just exhausted( i even read a lot of books and listen a lot of podcast and i spoke with a psychologist too
he’s often rude and condescending, and yeah, he can be aggressive too (not physically, before anyone assumes that, but his tone and behavior can be really harsh). i feel like i’m constantly walking on eggshells around him
i’ve tried talking to him about this calmly multiple times, but nothing changes. literally nothing
we don’t go anywhere, we don’t have a life together. he just plays games all day and i’m just… there. it feels like i’m alone, except worse, because i feel bad all the time
meanwhile i’ve completely fallen apart. i have panic attacks, i gained weight, i have no energy, and i don’t even feel like myself anymore
i’m not happy at all
i’ve told him several times that this isn’t working and that we should break up, but he refuses to leave
and i feel stuck. i got laid off from my job last week, so i have no income right now and i can’t afford to rent a place on my own. my family doesn’t support me, i basically have no one
and something that really hurts to admit… when i had money, i was always donating. to animal shelters, to people in need, because i thought it was the right thing to do. and now i’m here and maybe it sounds bad, but i feel like i should’ve saved that money for myself, because now no one is helping me
i feel completely trapped and i have no idea what to do
has anyone been in a situation like this? how do you even get out of it?