So me and my girlfriend started dating 2 years back it was all good and nice but last September she moved out of india and we have been in a ldr since. She used to live with her grandparents before but then she moved out last month and thats where things went bad . She did 2 jobs her schedule was mostly hectic i had my studies we couldnt make time for each other but we still talked everyday i ruined my sleep for her used to wake up till 5 or 7 in the morning talking to her and it wasnt bad either. Fast forward to this month 1st of may she said shes going out with the girls and i was chill with it cus she had all my trust and i didnt give a single thought to doubt her things went on and suddenly after 2 hours she turned her location and network off for like 3-4 hours when she turned it on i spam called her and she didnt pick up and asked me to leave her alone and also told me that she is drunk . Let me tell you that we had already set up rules at the starting of our relationship that none of us would drink any kind of substance or smoke any kind of addictive stuff but she did it and told me she litrlly broke my trust turned her internet off and when i confronted her about it she played the victim that this life is all so hectic for her doing 2 jobs not getting enough sleep and she thought this was her escape from all of this then i asked her to tell me honestly since when shes been doing all this stuff and she boldly said since the start of our relationship though she reduced the frequency but she has been doing it for 2 years and this just shattered me completely but lets not get into that 2 days later she begged me for forgiveness said that she would change and I believed her 3 days later to that day she again went out without a prior notice this time i had doubts i spam called her she didnt pick any and told me that she dont wanna be in a relationship then things settled she told me it was her grandmother who asked her to leave me and she was thinking that she ruined me by lying to me so she thought leaving me was the best thing she could do then i blocked her life went on 3 days later i got calls from international numbers repeatedly and turned out it was her again asking to come back this time saying she would change definitely and would never ever leave me i again trusted her and now things are so off she gets irritated by my constant questions about who she is with and where is she i constantly ask her for snaps cus what can i possibly do? She doesnt send me snaps sumtimes she does sumtimes not but idk what i can do then its just going on n off then yesterday she was our she said she had a panic attack because i was asking her for snaps of who she is with and just turned her network off though she clarified that she was w a girl not a guy but idk today rn while im typing this shes not been picking my calls for 4 hrs now no replies no textbaxk sudden disappearance I asked one of her friend but apparently her boyf answered me and told me to fucking call my girlfriend and not to bother his girlfriend i feel so vulnerable i just needed to know idk whys this happening to me i love this girl so fucking much even the thought of leaving her shatters my heart idk what to do…
Been 5 hours i took my sleeping pills 3 hours ago yet aint able to sleep its 5 am in the morning dk how ill figure out stuff