My wife and I are in an swinger/ethical non monogamy relationship. When I am with her, I have no problem at all getting and keeping an erection most of the time, unless my brain can't focus. I have ADHD, I take Adderall. I've never had issues with ED from that either. However, when we have other people over for sexy time, I always have an issue getting hard and staying hard. I have tried Cialis and Viagra, neither of them work. Whether it's one person or a couple joining us, it just doesn't work for me. I feel as if I am over stimulated and I cannot for the life of me get my brain to slow down. However, literally right after they leave I have no issue at all getting rock hard and going all night. No matter what I've tried I just cannot figure it out.

Anyone else with ADHD or not have this issue? If you fixed it, what did you do? I do not want to do any injections. I just want my brain to chill!


4 comments

  1. I don’t have a penis but I do have a problem focusing on sex. There are a few things that help me.

    – a small amount of medical weed
    – a strong enough focuspoint like pain
    – a break where I just watch and wait until my brain is calmer
    – bondage
    – limiting the input. For example dim the light and close the curtains so I don’t get distracted by visual stimuli, as little noices as possible, a blindfold
    – taking turns with stimulation. Meaning I either lay back and enjoy or my partner gets to lay back and enjoy

    Is it just your Erection thats the problem or do you loose your focus on sex. If it is just your dick thats acting up you could focus on stuff thats not penetration or add Toys like a strapon.

  2. How many times have you been involved with group situations? I’ve been to a swingers club, and the first time I went the same thing happened to me. So many people, so many bodies, so much going on, my brain was absolutely overstimulated. I was definitely turned on, but ultimately couldn’t maintain an erection.

    Cialis isn’t really going to work when your body is in fight or flight mode when it’s extremely stimulated. The advice I was given was exposure therapy. Keep exposing yourself to these situations and also, take some pressure off of yourself. You can still have a great time without an erection, and you can still please your partners without one as well.

  3. In those situations sometimes I take a small dose of Propranolol. It’s used by many people that get performance anxiety from public speaking.

  4. If you have ADHD it’s an emotional issue. Drugs won’t help this. You have to figure out what is making you uncomfortable and deal with it directly.

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