I’ll preface this with, I hate that I think like this. I know I’m a complete ahole for even thinking of thinking of this. But it’s how I feel, which I’m looking for feedback on. I may need therapy because something else deeper may be there. So here goes
I (37m) come from an upper middle class family. I also am a high achiever and do well for myself, even before I met my wife. Currently I make around 210k per year.
My wife (40f) had a contrasting up bringing. Grew up poor, ex husband also did not make an abundance, pretty much lived paycheck to paycheck. They did not acquire significant debt, so basically lived within their means. They have 2 kids together.
Now that some background is there. Here’s where I’m going to introduce my a$sholic thoughts.
I provide a much different lifestyle. We vacation (fly internationally in business class, luxury airbnbs, cruises etc), drive luxury vehicles, live in an amazing home, etc etc.
Basically, I’m living the life I would have always lived. My wife does not work anymore. My wife is now experiencing lifestyle creep. She says she’s no longer wants to hold back and splurge. I spend a lot, but I don’t randomly splurge. It comes with months of planning and research and finding deals before buying anything.
She has a home, but said she’s intentionally keeping me off the title as it’s her safety net. Yet my parents gave me an early inheritance of 200k that went towards our jointly owned home. This is my biggest grievance, that I came into the marriage all in, yet she gets a safety net. How’s that fair?
Now she’s comparing how I grew up vs her kids. And says I’m not being fair when I question why our kid needs $15 deodorant. Just because I grew up well, does not mean my parents splurged. I’m stingy because my parents were. I’m also paying my half of my step sons college tuition, so I’m not a greedy mofo just spending away everything. I’m financially responsible and we’re doing good.