My boyfriend and I are going to Japan for 3 weeks in October.
I have our trip fully planned out already, plane/train tickets ordered, hotels booked, yen ordered and I fully paid it off already. (He still owes me $3000 for the tickets/hotel/reservations and for his car insurance and is slowly paying me back every month for it).
My best friend invited me to go on a trip to Mexico for a week 2 months before the Japan trip. I really want to go and I can easily afford both trips.
When I told my boyfriend about it he wasn't happy and thinks it's stupid for me to waste money in Mexico that I can use in Japan. Especially since I've been to Mexico before and I don't need to go again(which in my head I thought was stupid because I also have been to Japan before)
I told him I can afford both trips and he said okay and kinda has been moody for a couple days since I told him and then things went back to normal.
Weeks later he comes up to me and tells me that he needs to get something off his chest. I don't remember how exactly he worded it but it was about how it's selfish of me to spend money on Mexico when I could use the extra money on his treatment (my bf is in chronic pain and has been spending alot of his own money on physio, cyro and massage).
I told him he doesn't have to pay me back his portion of the Japan trip and he can use the money he owes me on himself and I can still afford the Mexico trip and tried explaining to him why it's important for me to go on a trip with my friend.
Which ended caused us to get into a fight.
Which made me decided I shouldn't go to Mexico because of how negatively it's effecting my relationship.
I started texting me friend telling her I can't go on a trip and my boyfriend walked in on me sending the text and asked what I was doing and I told him I was telling me friend i can't go to Mexico. And he told me he only wants me not to go if I agree that it is a stupid decision and not because I want to please him. And then he asked me to text my friend later about it because we just got into a fight.
It's been two weeks since then, I think he assumes I'm 100% not going because our relationship feels happy and healthy again.
I still really want to go, but now I'm in a pickle. Because I can go and make my partner unhappy and feel like shit girlfriend for going or I can not go, but I feel like I'll resent him for it. So pretty much a lose-lose situation.
I really need advice in this situation, how do I convince him that I can go? How would you word it?