I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) since November of 2025. Since we first started talking, he has been amazing: planning cute and thoughtful dates, respecting me and my boundaries, opening the door for me, remembering little things i told him, etc. We became exclusive by the 4th date and then he officially asked me out around 2 months later.
However, i’ve started noticing changes in the relationship around a month ago, for example, him not being as physically intimate with me as he used to, not planning thoughtful dates, not listening to the things i say (like having to constantly repeat myself because he didn’t listen the first time).
At first I realized that it was just the honeymoon phase ending, but then the problems started getting gradually worse. Instead of him not being physically intimate as often, now it’s almost never and even when I initiate it he’s either too stressed from work, sleepy, or wants to continue playing video games. Additionally, he used to want to reciprocate oral sex but now I can’t even remember the last time he wanted to.
I tried to explain if there was a bigger reason why but he just explained that it was mainly from the reasons already stated which I said that I understood and would be patient with him. However, i’ve noticed that he’s said his job is a lot better than his previous one and everyone there is very nice so i don’t know why his stress from work would be the same or more than his old job. In addition, he’s been up playing video games pretty late (sometimes up to 3am when i’m already asleep) even though when i initiate sex it’s never that late.
I again brought up that being intimate is important to me and i wanted to feel wanted by him being the one to initiate kisses and sex, but he just either denied being less intimate or said that he would put in more effort but not actually changing much.
Then things got worse because I found a insta post from before we were dating of him kissing another woman on a dating show and I got upset because i got into my head that my own bf wasn’t being intimate with me at all while he was literally making out with another woman in front of an audience (he doesn’t like PDA). Even though he apologized and said that I was totally in the right for being upset and he would have reacted the same way, things still haven’t changed.
Furthermore, when at the mall yesterday, i was helping find clothes, giving him advice on the clothes, and going to all the stores he wanted to go into however i felt that he didn’t put the same effort into me and I had to constantly repeat what i said because he didn’t listen or misunderstood the first time. I had told him about how i felt calmly and asked if he can please put in more effort and better listen to me when i talked to him but at the end of the day i just snapped and had an argument with him and started crying because i felt so frustrated that nothing was changing. After arguing for around an hour, i just went home and cried again.
He called me this morning to ask to talk about our relationship after work. I said that I’m only willing to talk to him if he acknowledges my feelings and tries to put in effort and he agreed. Is it a good idea to talk to him and if so, how should I go about it? Is it just time to end the relationship? I obviously care about him so much i just don’t know how long I can keep feeling frustrated and unheard.
TL;DR, Boyfriend used to be more intimate with me, listen to me more, and plan thoughtful dates, and now the relationship has changed resulting in arguments and frustration. I tried explaining to him my feelings but either he denies it or says he’s going to change but i don’t see much difference. We had a big argument and now he wants to have a talk about our relationship. What should I do?