I am 27M and she is 23F. We were together for 2 years and 4 months of dating. I’m really struggling to process my breakup and could use some outside perspective.
We were together for 2 years, but before that we were best friends for 8 years. So this isn’t just losing a relationship — it feels like I’ve lost someone who’s been a huge part of my life for a long time.
We were also kind of engaged (naki in an Indian family context), so both families were involved. Things ended last week after an argument involving me, her, and my mum. I’ll be honest — I said things I regret, and I didn’t take a strong enough stand for her. That hurt her a lot, and it also affected how she sees my family now, especially my mum. She’s said her bond with my mum is now really bad.
She told her parents, they called mine, and everything escalated quickly. It went from something that felt fixable to completely over within days.
What’s confusing me is what’s happened after the breakup. She’s blocked me everywhere except WhatsApp. She even called me on my birthday (4 days after we broke up). When we spoke, she said she still loves me — and I feel the same — but that we can’t be together right now.
She also sent messages saying things like:
“In the past 4 days I’ve been messaging and calling you because it’s affecting me so much, whereas you seem fine without me. I won’t message or call you anymore.”
But even after saying that, she still replies to my messages.
She’s also said:
I should tell her if I get into another relationship
she wants clarity if I’m coming back or not so she doesn’t wait
we can’t hate each other
At the same time, she’s upset that I didn’t stand up for her enough and didn’t stop the breakup, even though she was the one who initiated it.
What do I do now to get her back ? I am willing to change my behaviour and to work on myself.
TL;DR:
2-year relationship (plus 8 years of friendship) ended after family conflict involving my mum. She says she still loves me but can’t be with me, blocked me everywhere except WhatsApp, says she won’t contact me but still replies, and wants clarity if I’m coming back. I’m confused if this means there’s still a chance or if she’s slowly moving on. I really want her back.