The amount of negative things I willing do, knowing full well that they add nothing of value to my life, is never ending.
The things I know I need to be doing, I never do. Not consistently at least.
I'm so used to self-sabotaging myself. Especially things seem to be going well. I willing do things I know will have negative outcomes. It's as though the idea of exceeding at something doesn't feel right, so I need to make a mess of it somehow.
I've started to isolate myself so much from the world. Leaving the house, except for work and the essentials, is pretty much my only social outlet these days. Aside from here, of course.
What to do? This ride is getting dull and tiresome already.