Hi everyone,
My boyfriend (31) and I (25) have been together for a year and I enjoy our sexlife, but there has also formed a resistance.
He does not really pleasure me as much. He does not spend time on carressing my body, fingering me etc. I've mentioned it a couple of times and still nothing changed.
We have had 2 in depth conversations about it. Where he expressed that he felt a certain shame about not being able to please me as much or doing it wrong or something.
But the main thing that bothers me is that it feels like my pleasure is an afterthought for him. I enjoy sex just as it is and the experience, but I also want to orgasm. Often times he finishes before me and he doesn't even ask if I came, if I want to finish as well. I asked him multiple times if he could just ask (bare minimum….) and not even necessarily get me to an orgasm. And he does not ask.
I am getting very annoyed with him. At this point I felt so resentful that I was like we'll just have sex and afterwards I'll just go to the bathroom to finish myself off. And that is absolutely not the kind of relationship and sexlife that I want.
Since my annoyance and resentment has grown I also do not really get wet anymore. I get aroused, but that's about it. When he does engage in foreplay and touching my clit for example, it does nothing anymore…
I have no idea how to continue with this, because I do love my boyfriend a lot, but I feel like I have tried everything to get through to him and it feels like he just doesn't care about my pleasure… Which is nothing like him and his character as a person.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?