So me (F19) and my boyfriend (M20) have been dating for 3 years as of last month. We’re in a very healthy and strong relationship. We don’t keep secrets and we never cross boundaries with each other. We know what the other one is comfortable with or insecure about and are always mindful of that- especially during sex. I’m not a skinny girl so i’m very insecure about my body and for the longest time made him keep the lights off during sex nor let him look at me completely naked. It was his birthday yesterday (friday) and he went out to celebrate with his friends later that night. His friends decided to all pitch in and get him a pair of the meta glasses for his 20th. He came back later and never informed mme that he received the gift. Time skip to earlier today, we started to get in the mood and he had the glasses on (he wears glasses that look very similar to the meta ones so i wasn’t really paying attention to them). He tells me that he wants to do doggy which surprised me because he doesn’t like positions where he can’t see my face but I wasn’t gonna complain and we were about to start when he paused for a second before we started going. He wasn’t being as vocal as usual and really just wanted me making noise and dirty talking. I started to feel weird about the whole situation and looked back to see a light coming from his glasses. He was recording the entire thing. Now I know he paused so he could turn the glasses on. I immediately flipped out and was in such a state of disbelief. He told me that he knew I would’ve never agreed to let him record me and that’s why when he received them as a gift, he did it the way he did. I told him that it made me feel used and dirty. It made me feel like he didn’t love me in that moment and only cared about what I was giving to him. I was obviously very upset and started crying when he told me I was overreacting and that it’s not that big of a deal. I told him to get out and not come back until he learned some respect for women and their bodies. I know he would never post the video or show anyone but apart of me just feels like an object to him instead of a human with feelings. Please let me know if there’s something better I could’ve done in this situation or in the future.
UPDATE: Thank you guys for the advice. It’s helped me snap back to reality. I’m going to the police station to file a report and hope that the police will make him delete the footage from anywhere it might be. I’m gonna break up with him when the police are here because I don’t want to risk doing it before hand and then him posting the video for revenge and I will also feel more safe with police presence. I’m not sure if i’m going to press charges or not but I’ll update if I do.