Me “23f” and my ex “24m” were together for 4 months until he decided to break up because he felt unsure and couldn’t handle the mental exhaustion. About a month after that, he sent me a text explaining everything and we decided to try again and get back together. About a week or two later, he went to a party that I was fine with him going to. But later that night I found out that he had kissed another girl at the party and that broke me, obviously.
I love him so much still, and I can’t get rid of those emotions. We currently don’t have any contact because I blocked him out of anger and sadness immediately after I found out, but I still hope that he reaches out someday soon. We had a really special bond and we both admitted to that face to face, and I felt true peace with him. It felt like everything he said to me was pure honesty, but I don’t know how to feel ever since he kissed that girl.
I don’t know if I’m insane for wanting to forgive him, so I was really just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same and if they forgave or moved on? I really don’t think I can move on. I believe in second chances and forgiveness, but I’m just scared. Please tell me your thoughts, or experiences on this.
TLDR: he cheated and I don’t know whether to forgive him or not. I need advice and to hear others experiences.
EDIT: thanks for all the advice, I’ve really taken some time to think and I’ve decided to remove him from my life completely. Blocked him everywhere and I’m ready to move on with positive thoughts. I’ve realised that someone who loved me would never do that. Thank you all.