Hi all! I am so torn i am genuinely feeling as if I am losing it. I (m21) have been dating this girl ive known for a long time, and she has apparently had a long standing crush on me for a few years. But right before I had- well you know began talking to her in that sense I had been having a thing for a close friend (f21). After now losing my v-card to my current girlfriend, and being with her for almost a year, i feel myself slipping. Im still emotionally attached but my emotions for her are so confused. I feel so all over, some days I dont really care about her and I feel so bad about it the next day. I feel so guilty and gross, I wish I knew what to do. But on the other hand, I cannot get my friend (f21) off my mind no matter what I do. I feel so torn, because if I leave my current gf for her what kind of man would I be?? I would hurt her so bad, and she would likely self harm, but then on the other side I am tormenting myself mentally. I am so torn and cannot make a decision. I feel so gross and horrible about my own emotions.
TLDR: im falling for my friend while in my current relationship with whom I have had a lot of significant moments with. I feel gross, and horrible about my thoughts and I just need advice on what to do. I am so torn mentally. Please.