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After everything that has happened, I still think of him and kinda miss him.
Opened an app again to meet people after a looong hiatus. Ex-boss (in 2024) who i had a bit of a thing for and who was very flirtatious, was on the app.
Was a bit of a rollercoaster working with said person, but they’re obviously still single. Been rolling it around in my head, if I want to reach out or not. Quite tempted. No other real prospects anywhere, anyway.
Why do I always feel like I have to choose for the stable, kind guy with boring conversations vs the interesting guy I can talk with for hours but who is not really stable? Where’s the guys in the middle?!
Not seeing this guy anymore cause he decided to ghost but I left my deodorant at his place and I want it back.
I still talk to my ex gf who broke up with me, even tho I’ve gone on a bunch of dates with nice girls who like me back. And it sucks because it seems like it’s holding me back
Interactions yesterday made me think about how those types of interactions have generally impacted my romantic confidence. Just too many interactions with men where I can tell they are disappointed to not be talking to someone hotter or more fun. Bored with me and wishing they were not having to talk to the uggo. I’m talking starting from my very first middle school crush all the way up to people on apps, and speed dating events now. It’s taken a massive toll. So hard to approach people with any confidence when it’s been made clear to me that I’m not someone people want. I honestly am so freaking ready to feel actually desired and not have it shoved in my face that I’m a last resort.
I don’t get it, y’all.
Was chatting with a date on how I finally sold my condo and how happy I was. It had been on the market for 2 months so I’m relieved to have made even a very modest profit in the end.
He got offended (insecure?) saying that home owning in this climate is a scam, bad idea and poor investment (i work in FinTech; i understand how investing works). And he continued on how renting is the way to go. He’s a renter.
It depends on your situation and finances. There are times where renting may be more advantageous indeed.
I asked him out, agreed to split the bill for drinks. Was I being too emasculating by *(checks notes)* having the audacity to have bought a studio before the pandemic as well on top of that?
Still angry at myself for throwing away my last relationships. I’ve only had like one other man speak to me the way he did (sweetheart, I love you, baby, I miss you, call me beautiful, etc), open doors for me, ask me to hang out, just be really open with words of affirmation and very complementary ….and I’m mad that I freaked out to the point that I pushed him away and now he wants nothing to do with me (blocked everywhere). I miss him, I miss the way he made me feel, and I’m angry and sad that I wasn’t able to accept/believe in that for myself
Yes I am in therapy
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I avoided dating for years precisely because of this. The amount of uncertainty and profound insecurity inherent to the dating process. The ensuing unpleasant emotion of connecting with someone I like more than they like me. Big oof. So now I get to lean into providing that for myself while continuing to take positive risks. The anxiety, man. It’s a lot.
He officially asked me to be his girlfriend last night 🙂 It was very sweet. We went out for drinks and he told me a bunch of things he likes about me and then we went back to his place.
Both of our last relationships had varying levels turbulence and we’ve both gone to therapy in the wake of our breakups. I feel like we’re both in a really good place right now where we each feel a lot of confidence and contentment about who we are and what we’re looking for. He said last night “I feel like we found each other at the perfect time.” Everything is just going so well and I’m so happy!
I accidentally tested the patience of my crush… again. He leads the music team and I recently joined. Today, I found out that my copy of one of the songs had a page missing (like what normal person manages to lose half a song?!) Then for a different song, I went rogue – it was a different arrangement of the song in the same key. He was so nice about it- he scribbled and changed his copy of the music – even though he would have been within his right to make me follow his copy of the song. And after the service, he packed up the keyboard – I felt a bit like a damsel (with the amount of help I was giving)
I think whoever this guy ends up with will be so lucky – he’s one of the most patient guys I have met, and always helping people out. He is a bit weird at times, but aren’t we all?
Anyone ever re-match or date someone where it was originally a mutual fade out?
2 years ago, I went out twice with someone who checked all my boxes. We had a good first date. For the second date, we went to an outdoor market but it was cold and rainy and we didn’t have a good time and neither of us reached out after.
Saw her profile the other day and so tempted to send another message.
The guy I’m currently seeing has a similarly weird work schedule to me – Monday is our day off since we both work weekends, so we’re getting brunch tomorrow morning and then doing something nice outside while we’ve got beautiful spring weather. It’s tricky to date with an unusual work schedule, and it’s been so relaxing to actually align with someone else.
To my fellow screwed up attachment styles daters…. How do you differentiate between being avoidant and genuinely not feeling it? I have had a history of dating guys /in situations that were not good. Thankfully I am out of that funk. But recently I met someone , been on a couple dates, there are no obvious red flags , I like hanging out with him but I dont feel any attraction. This has happened in the past too. My therapist thinks I am being too hard on myself. Any thoughts?
Finally matched with someone and went on a coffee date that went really well. We’re already planning for a second date this next weekend. He has really good calm vibes, intelligent and curious. Let’s hope things continue to progress well and see if we would be a good match.
I was reminiscing last night about the sexiest man I ever went out with. He had the *best* energy, and was locked in on me while we were together. Intentional eye contact, leaning forward, had this protective energy where he angled his body around mine. He never pressured or rushed me into physical stuff, but the desire was obviously present. He was confident, but a complete gentleman. It was just… so hot. I know the whole concept of “being in your masculine/feminine” is kind of meh because people think it’s just a thing for books and movies…. but if I’ve ever met a man who was fully in his masculine and made me feel like a woman, it was him. Based on my recent dating experience, I don’t think there are many of those types around anymore.
Sigh.
I texted a guy first after a date! Feels good to know I put myself out there a bit too.
He invited, planned and paid, all in ways that felt like genuine gestures of care specific to me. The least I can do is affirm my interest, right?
Asking as someone who had been following the guidance to let them lead for first several dates.
I was walking my dog last week and a guy asked for my number. He seemed kind enough so I gave it to him but have a weird feeling about him and want the opinion of others based on these factors:
He told me that 7 days a week, M-S, he works until 5:30.
He is unable to continuously text or meet any of those days, which means planning a date after 6pm will always happen.
He said that yet he took his mom out for Mother’s Day.
He never text me after plans were made. I actually had to check in with him, that’s 5 days of no contact.
For me some of this feels weird but maybe I’m just being weird about it.
The past few days I’ve had the feeling or instinct to tell this person I love them. I think we’ve seen each other long enough that it’s right. I want to continue to see them and develop the relationship. But they know they want kids (not immediately), though I’m not sure if I do. I don’t think it’s fair to string them along while I figure out if I want kids. That decision will take quite some time. I worry they think me saying “I love you” will be shallow or insulting. At the same time, I feel like it’s right to me and them to say what’s in my mind: I love you but we might not overcome the difference regarding kids, such a fundamental aspect of the future of the relationship.
Maybe they’ll be willing to continue for a while, I don’t know… If they don’t, I understand. I’d step away from dating for a few months. I just really don’t like the idea of having to re-enter again.
Damn Match Inc really wants to you on every platform they own, I got “invited” to make an account on Chispa which I’d never even heard of… I guess the Latinos goes stick together 🤷🏽
Can’t help but feel a bit miffed. Together 8 months. Was her 30th birthday on the weekend and her 3 friends came down to stay and go for food.
The table was pre-booked for some time so I wasn’t fussed about not going. We said about me meeting for a drink after as her friends wanted to meet me. But then she changed the plan and asked me to meet before their food.
I couldn’t as I was cooking and assumed we were meeting after. At this point there was only half hour before their table. So seemed pointless and a bit annoying.
Then I found out today her sister/friends planned a surprise party and had booked the whole place out and all her friends and some but not all their partners were there.
Granted I’ve not met most of her friends. But I’ve met some, and I’ve met her sister, and everyone else knows about me. And yet nobody bothered to send me a message on social media asking if I’d like to come and celebrate.
I know it’s not her fault as it was a surprise and maybe I’m overreacting but can’t help shake the feeling shit for being left out and not even being a thought. Gosh, I was invited to a surprise party last year for a girl I’ve been on 7-8 hikes with as part of a local group. Her friend who I’ve never met prior reached out to me on instagram to ask.
Thought I’d at least be asked to the girl’s I’ve been dating for 8 months.
Guy I have been chatting with sent me a picture from an event this past week and looks as though his profile pictures are a bit out of date and he’s put on a fair amount of weight. Sigh… second time this has happened this month. It’s very unattractive to not be honest about who you are. The crazy part is I probably would have still matched with him if he had up-to-date pictures but now I am second guessing whether or not I am interested.
Also, how was it that in my first two rounds of online dating I almost instantly fell into relationships? Why is it so awful this time? Is this what nearly 40 dating is going to be like? 😭
Not on my bingo card for someone to flirt with me after a workout class. 😂
I feel like post workout I am not feeling my cutest, I am feeling sweaty and hot. While sometimes I will wear a cute workout outfit, cute is mostly about being color coordinated. My go tos are joggers and a active tee shirt or promo tee shirts and leggings.
I went to a mindful workout + art event. At the end of the workout, I strolled around to look at artwork and ended up chatting with the curator. Arty people are generally warm so I am not surprised if someone introduces themselves to me with a hug. It is super common.
I do not expect that to happen when I am sweaty 😅. I don’t like touching unknown sweaty people.
Anyway we chatted for a bit, he promised to keep me posted on more events in the space, and asked me for my number to chat me up about related topics. And of course gave me a goodbye hug.
Was it a meet cute? We’ll see.
But on my IRL approaches I can now cross off post-workout on the bingo card.
Wrapped up three weeks of grinding on the apps and trying to be less picky. It’s not going well. It actually feels like a colossal waste of time. I’ve gone on 7 dates (6 first dates and one second date) and they went nowhere.
The first relationship after the desolation of a life partnership is tough and sometimes feels like a sacrificial lamb, relearning how to date and connect with new people. The woman I dated for nearly a year was great and we were great for each other but we didn’t connect as deeply hoped. Despite us prioritizing commitment to building connection and many chances it just didn’t fully click this time. Maybe in better times in the future. But glad we had each other to relearn love and relationships and recover from past partners. Will always value each other and I don’t blame her for initiating the end, I was in a similar mindset. But I think we’ll miss the comfort and support of being close, even if it isn’t meant to be a longterm partnership.
Of course, in the same week I hear from that last ex, reaching out with some fake excuse after essentially two years of blocking her everywhere. Just want to find someone capable of commitment and working through a partnership rather than being avoidant.
Waiting one week after her breakup was not long enough to ask her out. Who woulda thunk it.