I'm 18, female, and started my undergraduate studies 9 months ago.
Before uni, there was no such thing as socializing in my life. It was just me and my family who I have always been most close with. Maybe others aren't satisfied with their familial relationships and that's why they seek foreign connections outside of a household but I was pretty much satisfied with the people in my life and was in no need for finding new people to hang out with.
Maybe my parents spoiling me and me having a lively home of 3 siblings left me a bit too satisfied to the point that I cut myself off from the rest of the world.
Anyways, I have now developed moderate social anxiety due to this and have formed super tight boundaries around me that just do not lower around anyone who isn't my family.
This led to me struggling to fit in with my peers in my class. While everyone else has established their relationships and groups, I'm bouncing off of different social circles, keeping everyone a length away from me despite me not wanting to. While every other person is joking around or casually hanging out with each other, their seniors, our teachers etc, I'm still struggling from escaping the title of 'the quiet one'.
I want to casually strike conversations with others and be relaxed around people. I want to talk without constantly overthinking and planning on when the right time is to pitch in. Me being the quiet one doesn't mean I'm on bad terms with everyone by any means, in fact, I think I'm on pretty good terms with almost everyone. But that's where the interaction ends. We exchange a few words here and there but it's all surface level. I'm the last choice for everyone when grouping up.
The worst part is that I am not willing to get out of my comfort zone. I don't want to put in the effort to socialize cause I know how draining it is for me. And I do not in the slightest feel lonely cause at the end of the day my family will always be waiting for me, but wanting to fit in is a natural desire for humans and I am no different.
How do I fix myself? How can I fit in and be like everyone else?