Im trying to socialize more and ive noticed a trend, so id like to present 2 different social situations I was in recently and ask for advice.
Situation 1: I see a "walk in the park and discuss lifes big questions" event on Meetup. I go there and the general outline is the group meets, and in a circle 1 by 1 we say one thing we are grateful for, and one topic or question we'd like to discuss that day. The group then breaks up into smaller groups of 2 or 3, and walks and talks. This situation was absolutely no issue for me, i even got some soft rejections in people not wanting to talk to me much, and was completely fine with it.
Situation 2: Im trying to create a Bumble profile, and need pictures of myself. So i get dressed up and go to a local cafe for a pic of me with a coffee and reading my book. The cafe has 3 couches in a semi circle, I get anxious and sit away from the couches because i was nervous. Then after working up the courage to sit in the couch circle, i then spend the next roughly 30 min trying to work up the courage to ask the girl across from me to take a picture of me reading my book. Multiple "ok 3 deep breaths countdown and then ask" just to whuss out at the last second. Eventually I did it and my heart was in my throat. On the drive home i was freaking out, screamed, was tearing up, knocking on the plastic center console of my car so hard my knuckles bled.
I'd like to fix this. I want to be able to go to the local dive bar and just socially interact with others, being my full genuine self and ok with whatever happens. I went to this same bar last weekend and didnt really approach anyone. Currently im thinking of just going and accepting its gonna be cringe and awful and approach someone or a group. Does anyone have any better ideas or tips for this plan of action?