I need advice on this and what to do or just an opinion on this because I have mixed emotions and feel lost. I met this 26F we will call Daisy like 3 months ago. She came to the mechanic shop I work at because her brakes were metal to metal. They inspected them and quoted her like $650 dollars and she couldn’t afford it and walked out in the phone with her grandma almost crying. I walked up to her and said hey I can do it after work, I’ll just use the commercial account and charge you parts and no labor. After work I did the brakes outside of her job and it was all good. The next day she messages saying her grandma has a van that needs a battery so we met at oreillys to swap it out and the van had electrical issues and ignition issues. She said thank you and invited me to go with her to her cousins baby shower that Saturday. So we loaded up the van and I took it home to look at it at home. We eventually went to the baby shower and then to the casino with her other cousin and it was cool. We would message more consistently and lowkey flirt. I’d see her around and we would message or I’d see her at her job or to look at the car and stuff. This all started in like middle of March. Well she has two daughters and tells me about her family trauma and her family bs and her bd issues and things that happend to her daughters and why she moved from Colorado to Arizona with her grandma. Well the first instance I was doing a tune up on their car at the park and she got mad and got into a big argument with her grandma about her lying and not paying me. So she told me to stop fixing it so we left and I dropped her home. Then her grandma was mad and said she had a month and needed to leave after that, they’re renting a house together. Well she starts stressing and all this and I try to find solutions for her and stuff. She needs a car so I have two and offer her one but she declines and the housing situation I told her my sister is selling her house and will let me take over the payments and that can be situated because I know you don’t want to go to Colorado again. Then she messages me and says thank you for everything but it was nice knowing you my mom and I decided it was best that if after the school year my daughters and I go back to Colorado to stay with her. I was hurt so I admitted I had feelings for her and such and she said I know I did to but didn’t want to lead you on because of all this stuff going on and I am afraid the custody thing will make me move back to Colorado. We talk about it and things smooth out and begin going well, we cook food and give it to each other, I start getting her flowers and I got her an Easter basket and some stuff for the girls and even for the grandma. She was shocked because said she never got anything like that, her bd would only get her stuff for like valentines or when the girls were born. We still message and hang out every once in awhile and begin getting closer. Then her uncle was put in a nursing home but left so she began taking care of him and cleaning his house and stuff and I would go to help clean and remove the rats and roaches and check electrical stuff that wasn’t working at the house and the daughters even went a few days and were playing on my truck and I even played with them and they wanted me to play with them every time and when I would go to their house they’d run outside to greet me and would be excited. I would sometimes bring them food because the grandma and daisy would share a car and so when the grandma took it they would be stuck at home. Well eventually we would be hanging out every afternoon and sometimes during the day to help out her uncle or go do stuff. Idk what happened but one day she said that she didn’t want a relationship and that I deserved better, look at all the bs she’s dealing with, that she’s not looking for anything and wants to be just friends. I told her that I was where I wanted to be and wanted to see her happy and stress free and successful. That I would be there for her as long as she wanted me to and that we could be friends and if she was ever in a spot where she thought it could be more than cool and if not then cool. So things smoothed out again and then little by little we would hang out again and go to Costco or buy the girls ice cream or go to the park or go to her tios house. She had a lot of family demand and stress and trauma. She was spending the money she made on her uncles stuff and she was getting burnt out so twice I wrote her a letter and gave her 300 bucks to help her get in her feet. Well she started vaping one day and then she said her wrist was hurting and took one of her tios pink circles and I was very worried because I was like I don’t want her to go to sleep forever or to become infatuated or anything like that so I stayed in the phone with her for hours until she fell asleep. She said to call her early to check in so I did and she didn’t answer so I hauled ass to her house and before I got there like 5 minutes away she said I’m okay I’m just very tired thank you though. So I ran errands and went home and then brought her food I made to her work. We talked and chilled and once she got off she was like hey can we go to my tios house to check up on him. We did and all was fine and then I see her sneak another Percocet. Then the next day I was supposed to go to Costco to get groceries but was like I will just go to this Safeway it’s closer. Then she was like if you want to I will go with you to Costco I was like alright that will be cool. So we went and I got her some stuff and she bought other stuff and I bought my groceries. Well then on the way to get the girls and grandma food she says hey can we stop at this dispensary so I did so but was kinda feeling a way because it felt like she only wanted to go to be able to stop at the dispensary instead of being straight up. She gets home and drops everything off and such and then I go home and I message her and told her I don’t mind if she smokes or anything that’s better than percs but I would’ve appreciated if she told me her plans first instead of deceiving me a little. Well she got a little defensive and said I deserve better that she has addictive personality and was infatuated with stuff and that it’s just how she is that I deserve better thanks for helping them but not to anymore and stuff. I talked to her and then everything was good after awhile. Then Mother’s Day was coming up so we made plans and she said there was a chance she got called into work but wouldn’t answer. I said I understand she needs to get her money. Well Friday she works and tells me hey you down to go to the casino after work I’m like yeah so I pick her up at like 10:15 pm we go to her house and she changes and we leave. We have to stop to get the girls medicine and by the time we get to the casino it’s already 11:30 pm. So we go and she likes playing a certain slot machine so first time I win like 60 bucks off of 5 bucks. Then she plays and loses and then she plays and wins big like 140 off of 20. Well she keeps the hundred and spends her 20s and then I give her money I think in total I gave her like 100 bucks and it all got lost. Well on the at home she was upset about the money I gave and got lost and that it was late and that the landlord was gonna question it and become upset and bother her about it. We make it and I guess nothing happens but I message her early Saturday to see if plans are still on and she says sorry I got called in. I said I understand so I go to get her a hello kitty build a bear, bath and body works, 100 bucks and a letter wrote by me and her two girls. I got her new crocs because that’s what she wore to work, they even gave me free socks for her, I can’t remember what else it was. I also got her bbq because she had been craving it. I dropped off the bbq and then went to her house and her grandma allowed me to get the stuff and set it up in her room. I even got the girls my littlest pet shops. Well I leave and then comeback to see her at work when she’s ending her shift so she kinda brushes me off a little and then asks if I can follow her home so cops don’t stop her. I said yes and did just that, I have done it many times and I will follow her to the entrance of her road to make sure she makes it safe. Well this time she said by the light but I was like okay routine stuff well as soon as I turn she says thanks but you can go home now. I left it alone and was like she probably tired. Then she messages me saying thank you for the stuff but I didn’t have to spend the money on her and that she was sorry and to please just save my money but she was thankful. Well next day she works and asks me if I will bring her food which has happened many times and I said yes and brought her some and saw her wearing her new crocs and we talked and stuff and she mentioned a concert and sad we should go so she chose the seats and I got the tickets. Asked about what to wear and she said day of she will go early with me so we can look for her because she’s picky. That day I went to check up on her tio because she hadn’t gone in a few days because of work so I go to check up and his phones dead and there’s cat food everywhere and he has no more food. I take him Taco Bell and frozen burritos and water and cat food and paper towels. Then I go to his old house and bring him back a table and chair. Then on Monday a big fire happens and it goes near her daughter school and they evacuate then to the high school but don’t tell the parents anything. So she was freaking out looking for her until someone told her they were at the highschool. Work shut down early so I left and went straight to her house. Car was gone and no one answered so I went to check on her tio he was sleeping and was far form the area of the fire. Well then as I’m leaving I see her car so I follow her home. When we get there she tells me about the school and daughter situation and tell her they are evacuating people. She says the car was running weird so I looked and told her it smelled a lot like fuel. She said they had to go to their uncles house about an hour away if I would follow them and take the girls I said yes. Everything is loaded up and they start going and at the light the car keeps dying so they pull into my job and park it and we go in my truck. I drop them off and they say their grandma has an appointment at 10am if I could take them I said yes because last time the fire happens the road was closed so was work. Well they opened the road at night and I said I would still take them and told work I was feeling bad but would try to go in at 12. Well in the morning she says she doesn’t need me to take them and then to meet up and then to pick them up. So I do that and her and the grandma are already fighting. I get to the appointment early and the grandma gets out and goes. I take the dog and daisy and the girls to get breakfast and Dutch bros. Then we pick up the grandma. Daisy also had to work at 12, they had it her hours and we’re starting to give her more so she couldn’t really miss too much. They ask me to stop at kohls to pay off a credit card we go and they re in there for an hour and leave me in the truck because of the dog. It kinda frustrated me but I kept it quiet. Then the grandma wanted to stop to eat and she got out and slammed my door hard and then took forever. I book it to drop them off and I am overtaking cars and am speeding a little. Well in one overtake a car tries to overtake as well and goes slow so I have to swerve back because a car was coming. I was a little frustrated already. Well we get to pick up her car (I checked it the night before and it ran alright). Then to her house. She says sorry for makin you late and I’m like no you’re all good it happens I wanted you o get to work on time and get your money my job can wait. I messaged her saying that sorry for being quiet and stuff that I was hungry just to not start any problems. We are messaging like normal and she tells me she was full from the food that was at like 1ish, I told her I would go fix the car at work for her and then I go after work and I take her food and she says umm why did you get me food you didn’t have to I told you I was full. I was like oh sorry about that. So I go work on her car. I change the fuel filter and the coolant temp sensor and finish the tune up that didn’t get done last time. I go to drive it and get the keys from her, it drives nice, no leaks or anything. It did smell a little because coolant fell on the exhaust. I go back and then fix a brake light that was bad. I go in to tell her what I did and show her pictures of what was wrong and she’s being dismissive and ignoring me and she got a line so I walked out of the store and chilled outside. She then messaged me and said that driving like that wasn’t okay and that my help ain’t needed anymore, to go find a relationship somewhere else. She sees us as just friends. That I can’t ever go take the girls anywhere or show up unannounced, we talk and she’s like get home and have a goodnight. I went to the store bought cards and wrote an apology to each and every one of them. Then after work she’s like the cars steering wheel is popped out, there sounds like dripping, and it smells burnt. She said be honest what did you do to the car. I told her that I replaced those components. She was upset and I said I can take a look and she said no. Then she ignored me. She said her mom said the girls should never be with me in the truck alone and she went off. I told her I knew I messed up and did wrong and that I respect and understand her boundaries. She said thanks night. Well I told her to have a goodnight and sleep well. Next day I didn’t message to let things cool down and she messages me and says all of my tios pills are missing. Did you take them. I was like no I only saw them when we helped him move in and put them in the counter and he told me he put them in the cabinet. She left me on read the said oh well that’s not all of them. Then she said don’t show up to his house or ours unlined and my grandma is mad about the car you do the work at my job and that’s weird. You need to do it infront of one of us. I apologized and told her that I did everything from my heart and never meant to hurt her or anyone. I wanted to see them happy and successful and stress free. She left it on read like a few hours later and now we are here. I’ve felt alone and abandoned since a child because my parents were arrested when I was three. In high school middle school, college I was on my own and never had a relationship. I felt like I was unlovable and longed for that and to be accepted. When I talk to a girl and a connection is built I give my all and put them first and will go and try and try even if it’s not good for me. I’ve been fat since I was little and felt unattractive and I’ve alway been the strong one and it’s hard to stay strong. I really care and cared for this girl and was moving with pure intentions. I understand I did wrong with the driving and I regret it but I’m not sure if I deserve all the lashing out and anger. I’ve honestly been an emotional rollacoatser from crying and sad to angry. Even today at work test driving a car tears just poured out and ran down my face. Even while wrenching I cried a few times. I contemplated a lot of bad stuff. If I don’t have my brother I would have done it already. I see little me when I look at my brother I can’t fail him he looks up to me. I’ve been fighting real hard today to not do anything dumb. Please give opinions or advise or anything. I just needed to vent because I feel like I’m drowning and am all alone and don’t talk to anyone and don’t have friends. She was the main person I talked to consistently.