My husband and I have been together for over 16 years and live in the country that im originally from. We met and lived in his country, but for many reasons i decided to move back in my home country and my husband, then boyfriend decided to follow me so we can stay together. He moved across continents for me, leaving behind his whole family and everything he knew. This was in 2019, since then we have gotten married, created a family with 3 children and established a life here. Overall we are solid and happy, but since the birth of our children we are constantly stressed and overstimulated, we have no energy or time to spend any quality time together anymore and we both have periods of depression and burnout from our daily routine with the kids. Our oldest is 3, middle child is 2 and the third is a 3 month old baby so there is constant crying, sulking, yelling and screaming in the house. Im a stay at home mom who works from home (or tries to at least) while the 2 older kids go to daycare and I am the one who drops off everyone in the morning with the car and picks up the kids from their daycares later in the day. By the time my husband comes home from work at 6:30, i am overwhelmed because there is always someone crying between the baby and the 2 older kids, I try to prepare dinner between breastfeeding the baby, the house is a total mess and at times I start crying from all the stress and chaos around me.
My husband is also going through depression stages at times, he misses his family and really wants to visit them at least once a year. He wants to go this summer to visit his brother, because his brother is having his first baby and my husband wants to go meet his niece, which I completely understand and want him to have that moment. However I feel like im drowning at home and I dont know how I can manage doing everything by myself for 2 weeks without him and I feel terrible that I dont want him to go. What should I do? Should i encourage him to just go and I will suck it up for the time he is away or should I ask him to postpone his trip for a while until at least our baby gets a little older? I dont know what to do, I dont want to be selfish but I am also so overwhelmed most days with dealing with the kidsand also trying to work that I really dont know how I will handle them without breaking down every day. I should mention that my parents come and help as much as they can, but since they still both work, we mostly see each other on weekends.
Thank you for reading!
— **TL;DR;** : Husband wants to visit his family abroad because his brother is having his first child, but that will leave me alone with our 3 small kids, all under 3 years old, and I am overwhelmed