Summary: BF (white) wants a new life in Japan that excludes me.
We have been dating 1.5 year. Had a big breakup fight in February but we ended up still together. But bf is unhappy about his current life (even with a good job and a good girlfriend, as he said)and think he’s not ready to let go of the dream of living in Japan(he applied for Japanese jobs when we just started dating but didn’t get it and gave up bc of stress and me).
1.5 year together, He sat me down and told me he is going to try hard for jobs in Japan again with this career coach and will have no time for me. I accepted and said let’s break up. He said “That’s it?” So I asked him why he is obsessed with moving there for job since we just traveled there last November together and we can always travel and move later when we have more savings. He finally admitted the reason he is obsessed with Japan is eventually to find a Japanese partner. I felt very hit bc he was not a racist and has been respecting me(I’m Chinese). But I insisted breaking up but it didn’t go well with me coming to his place pick up my stuff the next day. He cried saying he didn’t wanna lose me and it’s just a stupid fantasy and suggested he goes to therapy to fix this depression and will update me with progress and ask me to reconsider leaving him later. He started to say things like”let’s book a trip to China, I wanna see your home and may I’ll wanna move there)…I softened again(I know I shouldn’t have.) should I wait to see if he really improves?? I know i shouldn’t. I feel like now I will be constantly thinking about how he imagined a Japanese wife when I’m with him.