A few weeks ago I applied to a job in the US (I currently live in Alberta, Canada) on a complete whim. Honestly didn’t think anything would come of it. Now I’m staring at an offer letter with five days to decide and I’m kind of in shock.
The role is in San Diego, 30% bump in pay after accounting for FX, strong company with a great reputation in my industry. The kind of opportunity that genuinely doesn’t come around twice. As someone who’s spent most of his life in Alberta, the career upside alone is significant and the lifestyle upside is almost unfair to think about.
About a year ago I met someone, I’ll call her Sarah. She’s absolutely lovely. Kind, patient, same family values as me. She has this way of grounding me when I get too in my head about work and whatnot. The relationship has been really good.
I kept her in the loop the whole time I was interviewing. Her position is clear and I respect it: if I take the job she doesn’t see a future for us. She’s a lawyer so moving to the US isn’t simple, she prefers life in Canada, and she’s not interested in long distance at 30. I’m not asking her to change any of that.
Rationally I know what most people are going to say. The job is objectively the right move on paper. But I genuinely care about her and I’m not sure I’m ready to walk away from what we have.
Has anyone actually been in this spot before? How did you think through it?
FWIW I don’t like my current job. I had a promotion that was promised to me in writing be called off last minute, I’m due back pay because of cash issues, and my job description isn’t consistent. I also feel stagnant in the role. The downside is, currently based in Alberta, there’s not a ton of renewable energy opportunities that would allow me to leverage my skillset in the way I want to.
TL;DR — Got a dream job offer in San Diego, five days to decide. Girlfriend of one year says it’s over if I take it. Rationally I know I should take it. Emotionally I’m not sure I can.