I (27F) am in a 5-year relationship with my boyfriend (28M) who I genuinely love. He’s my best friend, my safe place, the person who has always been there for me when life gets hard. We talk about marriage, kids, future trips, all of it. We barely ever fight (we built amazing communication and understanding towards each other with time) On paper, nothing is “wrong.”
But over the last year or so, the spark/attraction has slowly faded. We both face difficult situations in our respective carreer, evenings are usually just decompressing, weekends are errands/resting, sex drive got super low, things feel very routine. I still feel emotionally connected to him, but not necessarily excited in the same way anymore.
And now there’s this guy I see through work maybe once a week (different company, professional setting). Nothing inappropriate has happened at all. We barely even flirt, it’s mostly just occasional jokes and conversations/eye contact. But there’s definitely tension/chemistry there and I can feel it every time we interact.
He’s really smart, very handsome, compliments my work a lot (we are collaborating on a common project, but out company is more on the production side) and apparently even my coworkers noticed he seems into me, and sometimes tease me after the meetings when i got complimented. I catch myself looking forward to meetings with him and sometimes leaving with a stupid little smile afterward. Which makes me feel SO guilty because I have literally never had a crush like this while being in a relationship.
Those thoughts have been there for the last two months and they have started to feel more intense for the last two weeks or so.
The thing is: I don’t actually know this guy that well. It’s rationally know this is mostly about fantasy/chemistry/novelty. I’m not planning to act on anything. But the fact that I’m daydreaming about someone else at all is making me question everything.
Is this just what happens in long-term relationships sometimes? Like getting attached to the feeling of excitement and being desired again? Or is this a sign something deeper is missing in my relationship?
Late 20s if that matters.
TL;DR: I’m in a loving 5-year relationship with my best friend, but the spark has faded over time. Recently developed a strong crush/chemistry with a guy I see through work once a week (nothing has happened and I don’t plan to act on it), and now I’m questioning whether this is just normal long-term relationship boredom + novelty, or a sign something deeper is missing. Losing my head and constantly daydreaming.