My BF (32 M ) wants to go on a solo hike for two months with no contact aside from designated "proof of life check ins". I was upset because we just bought a home, live paycheck to paycheck, and I didn't sign up to be with an absent partner. I understand he has goals and ambitions, but he called me selfish when I brought up everything that was stressing me out about this.
Background information; we just bought a home and shortly after we moved in he asked if I would be okay with him joining the military… 7 weeks of basic training + tech school out of state and then potentially uprooting our life wherever he is needed. I wasn't happy about it but I managed to get on board because it is a life goal of his to serve our country in some way. I never would want him to feel like he didn't try for a goal. (He never joined the military)
Recently, he has come to me and told me that next summer he would like to do a two month long solo hike. I asked the basic questions about finances and how would we communicate and his response was that we could save up over the year and we probably wouldn't communicate at all outside of designated check ins so he could let me know he was okay. Naturally, I was a little upset about this because while I understand the need to be alone, I didn't sign up to cover the mortgage alone, put off our other travel plans, stay home and be alone for two months.
I just got a brand new job that pays a lot more than what I was making before so I know I could afford it, but I am starting to feel like I am bankrolling this relationship. Normally I don't mind, but when he is taking two months off to travel while I stay home and pay the mortgage and the bills it feels imbalanced.
On top of all of this, I LOVE to travel. I have dreams of going places with him but he always says he doesn't have enough PTO or that we can't afford it so my problem is that the moment we have a small amount of extra money he wants me to cover a two month long solo trip and the mortgage while he pursues what he wants.
I want to clarify I never told him not to go or that he couldn't go, but the moment I started asking questions and getting upset about it he called me selfish… So am I really being that selfish?
TL;DR – My BF wants to solo travel with little to no contact for two months. He called me selfish when I said we needed to discuss logistics and expressed I didn't want my partner to just leave me for two months.