Anyone else find themselves a functioning loner? Fairly successful at work but just never made a friend when I moved out here
May 4, 2026
And spend my nights and weekend doom scrolling. I don’t know how to get out.
23 comments
Here’s an original copy of /u/Galactic-Nomad-113’s post (if available):
And spend my nights and weekend doom scrolling. I don’t know how to get out.
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Same. I moved locations 5 years ago and haven’t been very social. I did manage to get a GF though.
The best friends I ever made were other functioning loners. Was in the same boat, got bored, bought a polaris rzr and started going on off roading trips on meetup or facebook events, eventually found another loner with an rzr where we would just hit each other up and be like “yo, wanna go ride at x park this weekend” and we would, just the two of us.
I’m inherently a loner, I enjoy time to myself, (too much) but it’s not good for me to get into myself, or too comfortable a routine, so when all my mates all settled down I forced myself to do things that ensured I was living life more externally and getting life experience through new things, than sitting in reading, or exploring solo hobbies – I wouldn’t have met my wife if I hadn’t gotten out there.
This is obvious, but you’ve got to start looking actively at social activities with groups that get you and meeting other people. This can be sport, or a hobby/craft you’re interested in. Something with a group dynamic.
Most of my friends married off before I did, as kids came on the scene I lost contact with most of them. It was on me to make more effort, but being young and single I didn’t realise how much of their lives had changed when mine hadn’t, until I had kids of my own.
So I joined all the things I knew I’d like and over time some of the weekend trips ( adventure weekends away with clubs I was in ) resulted in me making new friend, mainly divorcees and other singletons like myself and enjoying getting out and about in particular. Seeing places I wouldn’t otherwise have.
So get out there, see what sticks, do what you enjoy and you’ll meet some people along the way.
Beginner’s partner dancing can be great for this, just pick a style of music you like, and go for the fun, making friends can be a side benefit.
Dang this is me except I have hard rules to not install TikTok or shorts on my phone ever 😂
Yep have been pretty much since Covid, moved states and out of the Nashville tri city area out to a smaller area. It’s quieter, I work 60+ hours a week so my house is my hobby pretty much anymore. I have a coworker that lives a street over but idk how to take him and seems off. Idk how to explain it, other coworkers are older, can depend on them if I need to I know they’d be at my door. It’s hard, my mother also lives with me so that adds to it also.
Try some volunteering, you may not necessarily make friends, but you can get experience just getting along with people in a structured setting, and also gain perspective. I volunteered for Handy Wheels, basically a companion program to Meals on Wheels, and our main tasks were to install wireless doorbells to help clients know when their meals were delivered, and to install/change batteries in smoke detectors. The clientele is mostly elderly and mentally disabled people who are really lonely. Some of them are non-communicative, but many were just so happy to have anyone to talk to for a while. Really puts your problems in perspective. And helping people by doing something so small that makes a huge difference in their lives will be good for your own self esteem.
Use Meet Up to find like minded folks. Enjoy a good horror novel? I’m sure there is a group? Like a particular show? They might have watched parties.
Try dating apps, or meet ups in things you’re interested in, or classes for things you’d like to learn. I was a loner for a long time and used dating apps to eventually meet my wife.
Harsh truth, became more apparent to me when me and my gf broke up.
Yeah man. Friends doing same shit they did in hs. Half live with their parents. Tons of MAGA everywhere..so I hang out with my little boys lol. Love being their dad so it works. Dont miss anything except the grown up talk.
If I want a beer I go to a sports bar by myself and honestly its super peaceful. Wings, beer, some sports I dont care about plus my phone. Peace and quiet.
Yeah that’s me. I have no friends but am pretty successful. I’m not a social person. And that’s okay!
Most people are busy with work and they don’t have time for other things.
Why are people under the misguided impression that “loners” are not “functional.”
This isn’t high school anymore. Nobody is coming to save you. You were forgotten the minute that the parking lot cleared out at the graduation ceremony.
I haven’t made many friends since moving to Tampa 4 years ago. I just spend lots of time with my dogs and wife.
It’s hard to make friends man. And it’s easy to just stay in your environment.
I read a ton. I’m always listening to an audio book or reading.
I also make a point to not make close work friends. I will always be genuine with my colleagues and caring and work hard, but the relationship ends when I am not working. It’s the only way to do it really since you need to move companies to get ahead in this economy.
I would like to think I am. I have a lot going on any given day running a cotton farm and a homestead that being social isn’t really on my radar. I have a ton of friends but they’re all an hour away from me as I moved from town out to the farm. If I go to town I take goodies from the homestead or home made meals or sides and usually a bottle of wine or booze when I go to their houses to hang out for a while. I’m a 2-3hrs tops kinda guy… let’s have a few drinks a meal and some laughs then it’s back to my isolation for another week or so.
I’m sure there are several in Reddit
I used to be one up until I got married and had kids which I love but I do miss being alone a lot. My wife never wants to be alone and I’m the almost complete opposite so she doesn’t really understand needing alone time. I don’t have anywhere in my house where I can just go and be alone. I don’t have a man cave but.. I have some sheds outside and an attic that I have fantasized about setting something up in but I feel like it’s selfish so I haven’t done anything about it. Best of luck friend.
Edit: I do have a lot of great friends that I’m close to but I don’t have to live with them or be around them everyday if I don’t want to obviously.
Just go outside, and realize how much better it is talking to real people.
Get a dumb phone if you can’t quit doom scrolling. Do what you like to do and you make friends with similar interests.
Yep pretty much. I’m in a bunch of third spaces but nothing has ever progressed beyond “friend in X space”. Can’t seem to bridge the gap despite my best efforts.
I have a couple friends who are like this. They’re good dudes but just found their own peace and enjoy the activities they do that aren’t group activities. They’ll still come out if our group gets together but if all of us got busy, they definitely would just be chill.
I am THE functioning loner. They say that no man is an island, but I’ve done my damnedest over the years to prove “them” the fuck wrong, lol. Outside of work, I have no social life whatsoever now that my supposed best friend of 30+ years and his wife have moved a few hours out of the city. I think the last time we texted it was still 2025…
It’s getting to a point where something has got to give, however. I’m looking at early retirement since I’ve done so well with my investing and saving, but the big question now is exactly what I’ll be retiring *to.* If I don’t figure that out, it’s gonna end up being 30 years of sitting in a recliner getting high and playing video games or watching TV.
23 comments
Here’s an original copy of /u/Galactic-Nomad-113’s post (if available):
And spend my nights and weekend doom scrolling. I don’t know how to get out.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same. I moved locations 5 years ago and haven’t been very social. I did manage to get a GF though.
The best friends I ever made were other functioning loners. Was in the same boat, got bored, bought a polaris rzr and started going on off roading trips on meetup or facebook events, eventually found another loner with an rzr where we would just hit each other up and be like “yo, wanna go ride at x park this weekend” and we would, just the two of us.
I’m inherently a loner, I enjoy time to myself, (too much) but it’s not good for me to get into myself, or too comfortable a routine, so when all my mates all settled down I forced myself to do things that ensured I was living life more externally and getting life experience through new things, than sitting in reading, or exploring solo hobbies – I wouldn’t have met my wife if I hadn’t gotten out there.
This is obvious, but you’ve got to start looking actively at social activities with groups that get you and meeting other people. This can be sport, or a hobby/craft you’re interested in. Something with a group dynamic.
Most of my friends married off before I did, as kids came on the scene I lost contact with most of them. It was on me to make more effort, but being young and single I didn’t realise how much of their lives had changed when mine hadn’t, until I had kids of my own.
So I joined all the things I knew I’d like and over time some of the weekend trips ( adventure weekends away with clubs I was in ) resulted in me making new friend, mainly divorcees and other singletons like myself and enjoying getting out and about in particular. Seeing places I wouldn’t otherwise have.
So get out there, see what sticks, do what you enjoy and you’ll meet some people along the way.
Beginner’s partner dancing can be great for this, just pick a style of music you like, and go for the fun, making friends can be a side benefit.
Dang this is me except I have hard rules to not install TikTok or shorts on my phone ever 😂
Yep have been pretty much since Covid, moved states and out of the Nashville tri city area out to a smaller area. It’s quieter, I work 60+ hours a week so my house is my hobby pretty much anymore. I have a coworker that lives a street over but idk how to take him and seems off. Idk how to explain it, other coworkers are older, can depend on them if I need to I know they’d be at my door. It’s hard, my mother also lives with me so that adds to it also.
Try some volunteering, you may not necessarily make friends, but you can get experience just getting along with people in a structured setting, and also gain perspective. I volunteered for Handy Wheels, basically a companion program to Meals on Wheels, and our main tasks were to install wireless doorbells to help clients know when their meals were delivered, and to install/change batteries in smoke detectors. The clientele is mostly elderly and mentally disabled people who are really lonely. Some of them are non-communicative, but many were just so happy to have anyone to talk to for a while. Really puts your problems in perspective. And helping people by doing something so small that makes a huge difference in their lives will be good for your own self esteem.
Use Meet Up to find like minded folks. Enjoy a good horror novel? I’m sure there is a group? Like a particular show? They might have watched parties.
Try dating apps, or meet ups in things you’re interested in, or classes for things you’d like to learn. I was a loner for a long time and used dating apps to eventually meet my wife.
Harsh truth, became more apparent to me when me and my gf broke up.
Yeah man. Friends doing same shit they did in hs. Half live with their parents. Tons of MAGA everywhere..so I hang out with my little boys lol. Love being their dad so it works. Dont miss anything except the grown up talk.
If I want a beer I go to a sports bar by myself and honestly its super peaceful. Wings, beer, some sports I dont care about plus my phone. Peace and quiet.
Yeah that’s me. I have no friends but am pretty successful. I’m not a social person. And that’s okay!
Most people are busy with work and they don’t have time for other things.
Why are people under the misguided impression that “loners” are not “functional.”
This isn’t high school anymore. Nobody is coming to save you. You were forgotten the minute that the parking lot cleared out at the graduation ceremony.
I haven’t made many friends since moving to Tampa 4 years ago. I just spend lots of time with my dogs and wife.
It’s hard to make friends man. And it’s easy to just stay in your environment.
I read a ton. I’m always listening to an audio book or reading.
I also make a point to not make close work friends. I will always be genuine with my colleagues and caring and work hard, but the relationship ends when I am not working. It’s the only way to do it really since you need to move companies to get ahead in this economy.
I would like to think I am. I have a lot going on any given day running a cotton farm and a homestead that being social isn’t really on my radar. I have a ton of friends but they’re all an hour away from me as I moved from town out to the farm. If I go to town I take goodies from the homestead or home made meals or sides and usually a bottle of wine or booze when I go to their houses to hang out for a while. I’m a 2-3hrs tops kinda guy… let’s have a few drinks a meal and some laughs then it’s back to my isolation for another week or so.
I’m sure there are several in Reddit
I used to be one up until I got married and had kids which I love but I do miss being alone a lot. My wife never wants to be alone and I’m the almost complete opposite so she doesn’t really understand needing alone time. I don’t have anywhere in my house where I can just go and be alone. I don’t have a man cave but.. I have some sheds outside and an attic that I have fantasized about setting something up in but I feel like it’s selfish so I haven’t done anything about it. Best of luck friend.
Edit: I do have a lot of great friends that I’m close to but I don’t have to live with them or be around them everyday if I don’t want to obviously.
Just go outside, and realize how much better it is talking to real people.
Get a dumb phone if you can’t quit doom scrolling. Do what you like to do and you make friends with similar interests.
Yep pretty much. I’m in a bunch of third spaces but nothing has ever progressed beyond “friend in X space”. Can’t seem to bridge the gap despite my best efforts.
I have a couple friends who are like this. They’re good dudes but just found their own peace and enjoy the activities they do that aren’t group activities. They’ll still come out if our group gets together but if all of us got busy, they definitely would just be chill.
I am THE functioning loner. They say that no man is an island, but I’ve done my damnedest over the years to prove “them” the fuck wrong, lol. Outside of work, I have no social life whatsoever now that my supposed best friend of 30+ years and his wife have moved a few hours out of the city. I think the last time we texted it was still 2025…
It’s getting to a point where something has got to give, however. I’m looking at early retirement since I’ve done so well with my investing and saving, but the big question now is exactly what I’ll be retiring *to.* If I don’t figure that out, it’s gonna end up being 30 years of sitting in a recliner getting high and playing video games or watching TV.