I grew up in a strange Asian household. Father was (and still is) a total workaholic, at work for 15 hours everyday and never takes a day off. We barely communicate and since my birth he has this habit of treating me like a kindergarten boy despite me being older than 18 already. You would talk to him with a serious tone, he would talk to you like how you talk to a weak toddler and gives zero fucks about how you feel about it. He always observed when I struggled with a task and when I did he would immediatly come to solve the task for me ("Daddy will do it."). So from him I didnt learn how to be a man. He actually doesnt want me to act like a man but behave baby-ly (be vulnerable, talk like a toddler, be weak and soft). He also does this to other grown-ass men who are around my age or younger. Just doesnt take my seriously. Even in public. Somehow fathers of other boys were also so strict, which I respected. They take their boys seriously and did not allow any mistake. It was almost a military-like parenting they were performing, very efficient.
My mother cared a lot about my education but she was also just a clueless woman. She tried to raise me like a daughter somehow, not understanding that boys and girls are different psychologically and you can not expect boys to treat and raise like girls but expect the same outcomes. There were a lot of fights between my mother and me because of communication problems (womens brain vs male brain). I noticed very early that only with boys I had a good and clear communication or males in general.
There were also tons of fights between my dad and mother which lead to my dad run to work (he works as a taxi-driver and owns a taxi) and I was often the mediator to take care of these two grown-ass toddlers.
One thing I forgot to say: Because I am a boy and my parents come from a Asian country where sons are valued a lot (help you get out of poverty, inherit stuff, take care of children) I was coddled af. Treated like a prince at home. I had zero responsibilies. They only wanted me to study. Everything was done for me (cleaning, appointments, etc.). They also didnt want me to work on the weekends, especially my absent father. He was sacred that I could hurt myself or that I would neglect my studies because of that.
All this lead to me being a guy who doesnt know how to be a proper man. I dont get things done, I dont know how to handle my emotions, I dont know what is right or wrong, I dont trust people and dont let anyone come close, I am lazy af. My brain and my whole body feels like it just wants me do lay on the bed or sit on the chair and play video games and jerk off to Hentai. I have to fight so hard with myself when I have an apointment or when parents force me to go to the gym.
My question is: I am a catastrophic person, how do I man up? Because people who say "Just man up, bro" are vague af. That is not good advice, its like telling sad people "Just be happy, bro". I need proper efficent advice, maybe where I should start.
To summarize my personality : I am a very weak (mentally and physically) lazy pussy. I was also told by some women that I am "not a real man".