Need grown men advice if you don’t mind.
Im a 29M. My best friend’s Dad, who I’ve known my whole life, owns a kayak shop in town and is a fishing guide. I’ve talked to him about buying a kayak because I want to get into the sport/hobby.
He told me he’d take me out kayak fishing next week to try out kayaks and see what I like which is really nice of him.
Do I pay him?
I know its alot for him for take me out and he’s having someone man the shop while we’re out fishing and I somewhat feel bad or feel like I owe him.
I’ve never been good at money like this so any advice will help!
26 comments
Here’s an original copy of /u/annyongggg’s post (if available):
Need to grown men advice if you don’t mind.
Im a 29M. My best friend’s Dad, who I’ve known my whole life, owns a kayak shop in town and is a fishing guide. I’ve talked to him about buying a kayak because I want to get into the sport/hobby.
He told me he’d take me out kayak fishing next week to try out kayaks and see what I like which is really nice of him.
Do I pay him?
I know its alot for him for take me out and he’s having someone man the shop while we’re out fishing and I somewhat feel bad or feel like I owe him.
I’ve never been good at money like this so any advice will help!
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Just be friendly and offer to buy a meal or make your big purchase at his shop and remember to say thank you.
He’s probably lonely and excited to share a hobby of interest with someone else
Make sure you buy the kayak and any accessories from him that he recommends. I don’t think you need to pay him for the trial, but it wouldn’t hurt to offer
No, he’s not expecting payment. You’re son adjacent if you’ve known him that long. He’s sharing this joy with you and you’ll purchase from him.
Do you communicate with regularly? Like by phone? I would call him and just say “Hi, I’m just getting my ducks in a row for next week and was wondering if you wanted cash, or if card is ok and how much?”
And he’ll most likely say “Get out here, I’m not taking your money” or something to that effect but he’ll appreciate the thought
It’s probably just friendly of him. But ask if there are any costs you should be aware of.
You might ask your friend if it’s something he does for other customers. I kind of doubt it is.
If you do buy a kayak, I’ll give you one piece of advice as a small business owner – real friends pay full retail. 😉 I definitely wouldn’t ask for any kind of friends and family discount.
And also speaking as a small business owner, sometimes it’s satisfying to be in a position to do something nice for someone without payment. I’ve done stuff for free (or “you can buy me a beer sometime”) that would have cost hundreds of dollars as a normal commercial job. And when it’s just my own time and labor I *want* to be able to make that a gift, and if someone feels like they ought to at least give me a $20, that honestly kind of cheapens the whole thing.
So keep that in mind. If you’ve got a good relationship with him, and it sounds like you do, it’s likely it’s just something he wants to do for you.
u/qsk8r and u/Sudden_Rule_5158 have given you good advice. Buy your kayak, paddle(s), life vest, and other gear from his shop. But don’t offer to pay him directly, that might come across as insulting to him or obsequious on your part.
Also, kayaking is a hell of a lot of fun, so enjoy your time on the water!
I would at least offer. He may refuse, but I’d at least get my kayak and accessories/supplies from his shop.
Always offer, and legitimately offer. If he refuses, look to at least tell him you’ll buy lunch or the fuel or at least some partial payment. IT shows you value what he’s doing as something above and beyond, not simply what you’re entitled to.
He may say something like “I was planning on going anyway” but try to get him to agree to some form of payment or favour. If you’re very short on cash, offer to pack the car or set up the fire or whatever.
Other than that, just say thanks. For most older men, just seeing someone enjoy the hobbies we like and be grateful to join us can be a great way to spend time. It doesn’t have to be over the top, just a ‘thank you’ and a firm handshake.
I’d offer to pay him, but do it indirectly, in a way that lets him know you appreciate it.
“Hey, your time isn’t free, and this has been very valuable to me. Can I pay you something?”
He’ll probably say no, so then you say “OK, but at least let me cover the gas or buy us some lunch on the way home?”
And don’t ask for a discount, but take one if offered.
You’ve known him your whole life? He probably considers you like a son then? I wouldn’t shovel money at him, but I’d find a way to show him my appreciation.
I think you should offer or just straight up ask him if you should. He will likely refuse and if he does you find a way to cover something.
But him a meal/lunch/beer. Offer a “tip” after the fishing trip. Have fun and thank him.
Make the offer. If he takes it then you know you made the right decision. If he doesn’t. Lunch and a bottle of his favorite bourbon or something in order. I’ve always been taught to offer something for services of friends and family. And to never assume anything is free.
He’s your best friend’s dad, he owns a kayak shop, and works as a fishing guide. If you expressed interest in this activity and he offered to take you out, he is trying to share his passion with you. In regards to money, I would not pay him. I would pick up lunch and if this is something you decide to get into, insist on paying full price for your gear.
I would not pay him but will buy beer and take him out to dinner afterwards
Maybe if you’re riding with him over there then offer to pay for gas or something if you really want to. Or maybe ask if there’s anything you can bring on the trip. He’s almost 100 percent gonna say no. But just offering something back is always nice and respectful to do. I feel like flat out asking to pay him back for taking you could make things a little awkward though. So probably try not to make this feel transactional. He’s probably excited just to do this for you.
Best friend = extended family. Take him up on his offer, but you owe him a favor. Not a huge one
I’d offer
How long has this guy known you? You are family. He is excited to take you out as a peer/friend instead of “friends-dad”. Most kids friends are affraid of this interaction. Just show up, it will mean the world to him but he will try not to let it show. Text him a couple days later and say thanks it’ll make his whole week. Ask him to fishing again and you will make his year.
Buy him lunch/dinner on the day, and if you do buy a kayak, buy it from him.
Offer to pack / buy lunch / drinks / buy bait etc. If I invite someone along for one of my hobbies, I don’t expect my guest to pickup the tab, but I’ll take a beer and a sandwich!
Buy him a nice dinner afterwards
Offer some beers or a meal (before or after). Maybe toss a few bucks for gas. Any of this would make me happy.