I was working at a restaurant in Melbourne, had matched and chatted with a guy throughout my shift that day. Business was quiet so we closed early, and me and my colleagues were heading to the pub. The guy said he happened to be nearby and I thought, why not – come join us for a drink.
He had said he was arriving by 10, but it got to 10:30 and he hadn’t appeared. I told my friends I was heading outside for a smoke. As I was out, a guy walks past and calls my name. I stop, and I say “yes – sorry, do I know you?”
He replies “yeah it’s me, Jeremy.”
This was the guys name on tinder but the person stood in front of me was a COMPLETELY different person. Not even like a larger version or an aged version. Just a different person – so much so he was a different ethnicity. The guy in the photo was Caucasian and this guy was Asian.
I was a bit shocked at first but was curious to see how he was going to explain this so, I said “oh hi! I’m going out for a cigarette. Do you smoke?” He said yes and we walked out. I began rolling my tobacco and he asked if he could borrow some.
As he did so he produces a smoking pipe from his (brown shiny leather blazer) pocket. Like a proper Sherlock Holmes pipe. I said – “oh well this isn’t pipe tobacco it won’t work”. He said “oh it’s fine,” plunges his hand in and took a huge chunk and proceeded to shove it into the pipe. I said “no surely that’s not going to light – what do you usually use?”.
He said “oh I don’t, I only bought this today.” He starts trying to light it and is coughing and spluttering. I stand there just bewildered at what’s going on, finish my smoke and say “ok I’m going inside to join my friends – are you coming?”
( for clarity – I wasn’t interested in the date I was just curious to see what the hell he was going to do next and I also felt safe and comfortable because I had 4 friends with me).
We join my friends and I excuse myself to the bathroom (I wanted to double check his tinder profile to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind). I did so and confirmed – this deffo ain’t the guy.
When I return to the group, all of my friends are sat there in silence looking incredibly uncomfortable. My friend notices me and says “can I just talk to you quickly” and drags me back to the bathroom.
She then tells me that in my absence, “Jeremy” had proposed to the group everyone shares what their first sexual experience was. A bizarre conversation starter but they complied.
However when it got to him apparently he said “oh first sexual experience; I guess we mean the ones not with a family member”. And then proceeded to announce that he had f!ng3red his cousin.
At that point it stopped being amusing: I went back to my mates and we all left very very quickly.
To this day I think maybe he was a drama student playing some weird character game or something.