Hey, so I've been single for over a year after a really bad breakup. I'm quite anxious/avoidant and don't like "chasing" out of fear of coming across as needy.
I met a guy on a game about a month ago, and he was similar to me and choosing to be alone after a bad time. At first he was quite braggy and acting like a lad joking about how "hot" he is, but his guard slowly came down and he started messaging and calling me outside the game and being a lot more squishy and comfortable and holding on to my every word. I was the first person he called from his car when some shit hit the fan and he had to move in with a friend. I gave him a quote and he literally wrote it down and put it on his dashboard because it meant so much to him. He also called me instantly when I told him I got diagnosed with autism, even tho it was like 5am his time.
We would call and yap for hours, I would have to tell him to get off the phone and get his moving sorted, he said he was smiling like an idiot at his phone talking to me. He was mirroring my energy, instant replies, if I sent voice memos so would he, and he would send me videos of beautiful places and hint that it's a short drive from him etc. He would be super intentional in the game we played and due to the time difference, he would literally only play with his bros after I went to bed, always giving me stuff, helping me etc. Very attentive.
He went quiet during his move but then he came back about 3 days later and it escalated into actual flirting, and he would say stuff like holding hands in the snow would be an amazing adventure, and that I "sparkle", and he bets I sparkle even more in the rain that he loves. Also said that seeing me "isn't impossible" and that he is open to travelling and he was being extremely sweet and mentioned future dates in autumn and winter. He kept talking about his dream apartment he wants in the autumn, and it matches my idea of a dream apartment too. We shared a lot of love for the same things and we align in our mindset.
Our connection has been very "slow burn" and I think we are both guarded/shy. He told me a weird thing a couple weeks ago that his new female roommate "might like him a bit" and that she was "jealous because he was calling out someone's name in his sleep". I didn't rise to it, I thought it was a weird thing to tell me. He was vague when I asked who's name it was, he changed the story to "I was talking about the game we play it means nothing to her"
However, since Friday, his energy changed up and it's making me feel hurt. I was in his discord server with my roommate (who is also an ex from years ago but honestly it's pure sibling energy), yapping and laughing away and he came in and started being overly helpful to my roommate in the game, eventually he went silent, cancelled our gaming plans for the evening and he's kinda treated me differently ever since.
I came online yesterday and he INSTANTLY messaged me "hey girl heeeey" and then stopped talking. We were alone in VC for a bit and it felt awkward and he was hyper focusing on something else, he's barely been messaging me at all and it's making me feel like he's lost interest. I stopped initiating because I don't like chasing after people when they pull away.
I've been focusing on myself this week, but one of his bros still checks in with me every day and sometimes asks me to join their calls. I'm not sure if he knows anything.
I am thinking next week after taking some space, should I just tell him I really like him? He's about to start a gruelling 18 hour day summer job in construction and I'm not sure we will be able to talk much at all.
I always worry that once a guy "has" me, that they just stop making effort and I'm worried that's what has happened here. It seems like a wild switch up from Thursday and I'm not sure what happened.