My (30F) husband (34M) and I have been together for 13 years. I work 12hr overnights (7pm-7:30am). I started this past July, so almost a year now. There isn’t a dayshift position available but even if there was, I wouldn’t actually want to take it. The dayshifters kind of suck. They are really rude and they bully people. I’ve picked up a few days on dayshift and it’s just not for me.
But today my husband said he feels like we’re like roommates and it’s breaking my heart. He said we’re not spontaneous anymore and he feels like there’s distance between us. He spends a lot of time in his “man cave” (a spare room where he might watch tv or play on his PC – he’s not that person that puts gaming above his family) because he feels this distance.
I don’t know how to fix it. I try to be close to him. It’s been a while since we went on a date so last weekend I said I wanted to go out. We went to dinner and an arcade afterward. And a few days ago before work I sat on his lap for 45min before work just talking and I told him I wanted attention.
I don’t want this to break us. We’ve had a few rough patches before where we were like roommates, and it took a lot of work to come back from that. But I’m gone 3 nights a week and it’s harder to spend time together without the kids.