He had some addiction issues and during a 2 day bender last year he decided that sharing locations was crazy and controlling and no longer wants me to know where he is. I’ve tried to accept the boundary as long as he is staying sober. He’s been using soberlink for almost a year and only had one day of drinking that I’m aware of (and he actually asked prior to doing it – he was with me and it was a special occasion). One drink became three and then he had no control and he quickly realized it was a huge mistake to think he could try to control it.
I want to trust and think the best but I’m also not an idiot. He has been willing to participate in some counseling with me as we worked through specific issues and learned how to be a team/couple again. I’m just having a hard time with him on the other side of the country doing whatever he does while I’m home hoping he’s ok.
Prior to him getting sober, there was a time when he had a bender in this same city and the only way I could help him was by knowing his location. I hope that we are just at a point where he wants to feel trusted, so not sharing location is a boundary for him and I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum feeling like trust has to be earned and I need to feel like he’s willing to be transparent to give it fully. Idk how to approach this as a conversation without it becoming a battle or having him take it wrong.