Hello, I just wanted to share some thoughts I've had after quitting online dating for a whole year. Like my post from last year, this is not a message for those who are lucky enough to get dates or relationships out of it. This is for the ones that feel lonely and forgotten, staring at your phone wondering what you're doing wrong. If you know, you know. I am a 34 year old introverted, thicc, sober dude living in a college town where there's not much to do except go out and drink at a bar. After years of being on sites like Tinder and Bumble, I had finally decided it was enough; the one-sided conversations, the bots, the constant profile editing to try and get the algorithm to give you a win for once, and the temporary dopamine hit of getting a match. It became tiresome.
After being away from it for a year, I can strongly say I've been much better off. While I wish I could say I met the love of my life running into each other at a coffee shop or something, my time simply hasn't come, yet. BUT, my confidence has grown. I've been seeing more friends more often, and have started up lost hobbies again, such as miniature painting, reading, and going to the gym regularly. On top of that, when I do go out, I have been interacting with strangers, more. Compliments, jokes, nods and greetings, all the little things that have the potential to help you meet somebody new or even just make their day. I feel a general sense of positivity knowing I am not subject to an app that makes me feel like a product.
Online dating has ruined what it means to socialize and be human. It is an abusive relationship that I would strongly encourage more people to discard. That being said, I will acknowledge many consider it their only option to find somebody, and to those people, I say just keep doing your best. I am here to encourage everyone using the apps to attempt to ditch them and start putting in genuine effort into life. Spread joy around yourself, for yourself, and joy will find you. Easier said than done, I know. Oh sweet baby Jesus do I know. Even with this mindset, I still deal with depression, stress, and anxiety on a daily basis (and recently, back pain after trying to put on pants the other day), and still haven't met anyone worthwhile, but I know I will if I keep going, and I think you can do it, too. You, reader, have likely not reached the best version of yourself, yet, and it starts with not allowing an app to dictate your feelings. Thank you for reading!
TLDR: Delete the apps, self care is the key (probably) 👍