Here is my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\\\_advice/s/8ssRc0w5Bu
I got away from him shortly after this post. He now lives with his mother and he doesn’t know where I currently live. I did end up pregnant (verified by pregnancy test) but I had a miscarriage and I have never been more grateful for anything in my life. At that time, I was afraid to get an abortion (I was deeply indoctrinated).
A number of people kept telling me to contact my family and friends or get help from churches. We were in a black Hebrew Israelite church (I left that behind too) I had no friends outside of the organization. The leaders of the group knew my husband was abusive, they didn’t want to get involved in any way and continued to tell him to ‘handle your household’. Ngl, everytime they spoke to him about the marriage it sounded like they wanted him to just abuse me quietly and shut me up. The only time they ever had an issue with the things being done was when I called the police after he choked me, they didn’t want to be named in a public scandal. This Israelite church already had at least one known scandal where a man murdered his affair partner.
He has a better relationship with my parents than I ever had and still talks to my mother (I’m nc with my parents ) and apparently he tells my mom how he wants to change me to be a better wife. My mom was on his side about us having a baby. She kept saying that babies fix marriages. My mom accused me of being abusive to him, that’s one of the many reasons why I’ll never talk to her again. She knows how bad things were when I was with him and I feel like she is choosing him. It’s weird.
I need to finish this chapter in my life and get a divorce but I’m afraid. Ive heard stories about men who kill their exes because they want divorce and I feel like this is something that he would do. Is there a way to get a divorce without appearing in court (Texas, USA)? I don’t have money for a lawyer.