Burner account because she also has reddit.
I was told by my wife yesterday that she no longer wants to be married to me because she feels that she got married too young. We married at 20, after I had been moved units (we are both active duty) in 2024. We have had ups and downs, and haven't.t had sex since September for a number of reasons. The biggest being that i suck at sex and dont communicate bery well to her about anything. There have been several instances of her she wants to have sex with other people becasue she never got to go through her "slut phase" before marrying me. Before we married and were just dating she had asked if she could have sex with a man she had been fantsisng about and even masterbated while thinking of him while i was in the bed next to her, after she told me I broke down crying because i guess i thought she wouldnt do it. I had told her yes because i thought that telling her no would be controlling. Before she had left for NTC (training in California that lasts a month) she had asked if she could have sex with other people, I again said yes because I wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with me. She got home yesterday and we had sex for the first time in months when she suddenly wanted to have raw sex, she had never done this before, she broke down crying before I finished and when I asked her if she was ok she said yes. I then asked her why she wanted to have raw sex all of a sudden after years of hounding me to wear a condom, she told me it was because she had been having raw sex. She had had sex with a man several times while she was in California, in porta potties late at night. I didnt sleep last night I was crying until midnight. I feel hurt because it happened but selfish because I want her to myself. She told me she wants to divorce me after we return from deployment in 2027, and to not worry about it now. She says she still loves me and wants to be friends but doesnt want to be married.
I dont have anyone else to talk to so please give me some advice on what I should do. I dont want to leave her because I'll be alone and I know I cant have another relationship. How do I proceed forward?
TLDR: wife has "cheated" because I gave her permission even though I wanted her not to and idk how to cope.